Let's say you wanted my help. One-to-one. And pronto, for any number of reasons ..

Could be:

  1. You hear your ex is in a rebound relationship, so what now?
  2. You know some guy or girl is showing interest, will make their moves .. and you feel sudden urgency to do something about it..
  3. Maybe you are worried about some party or event you are going to tonight (it is Halloween after all) and maybe your ex will be there?
  4. Your ex contacted you and you don't know if to reply or ignore it, and what "message" either would send ..

There are so many possible complications. Makes your head spin if you'll let it.

By the way? I can tell you with almost certainty that whatever cause of action you'd take first would only make your situation worse.

Here's how to increase your chances I will help you

First, don't tell me your life story. I get a lot of emails. Do you think your email is going to be picked over the rest if it's obscenely long?

The shorter your email, the more likely it'll get read.

Don't write me a "wall of text" either, use paragraphs. Break it up.

Oh, keeping to the shorter theme.. don't tell me anything I don't need to know (I almost always need to know less than you think.)

Now …

The clearer you state your question, the more likely I'll consider replying.

Yes, consider. I did tell you I get a lot of emails?

Lastly, the more specific your question, the more likely my reply—if I send one—will help you.

Want to guarantee I'll reply?

Step up and become a "Breakup Dojo" member. Then you will get a reply. Sure, we won't be "pen pals" (there are limits — I'd still rather not have your life story..) but I will help you get ahead.

This option is not for everyone of course.

The "Breakup Dojo" is expensive.

It's only for people who want the convenience, peace of mind, and speed of having the right information they need, right when they need it.

The alternative is endless Google searching, and the flaky soul-searching routine. This will cost you in other ways .. if that's your preference.

For the serious:

BreakupDojo.com

Michael Fulmer

YOUR EX DOES THIS. AND SO DO YOU

If there's one thing I've learned about humans recently, it's that what they say they'll do is almost always different to what they actually do.

Example: Today, between 11:53 and 12:53, I'm expecting delivery of the new Apple TV. I'm excited, sure. But Monday just gone, I told my wife we'd wait on this. We don't need it. Yeah, that went well..

I'm telling you. Everybody lies.

Tip: Always observe what people already do. Ignore what they say. And nobody will fool you.

I mean ..

Is this familiar? —

"I want someone who will look after me, is sensitive, kind, and funny" {{runs off for the 3rd time to date yet-another-asshole…}}

It's funny. Bet you're nodding along.

Lot's of guys and girls paint a picture of what they want, and it's a real pretty picture.

Then they go date the nearest asshat in town—again—and if you hold up that "picture" against the first? You wouldn't think it was by the same artist.

OK.

So what about you?

I got two things to say:

  1. You can "say it" until you're blue in the face, but until you do it you haven't changed one bit, and your ex doesn't want to know (hint: your ex doesn't want to date the same you they already left — something has to change, but your words is not it);
  2. If you've been saying big words like "I'll do ALL I can to get them back," well .. have you? How committed exactly are you? Unless you've studied the minefield that is "relationship conflict and resolution," maybe getting guidance from someone who has would be a good idea? (hint hint.)

Today, check what you do, and what you're already doing … and see how closely that "picture" matches the one you'd paint with your words.

Because ..

If you want things to be better, if you want your ex to take you seriously (or anyone else for that matter) .. the secret-not-so-secret is to shut-up and just DO it.

That's how you stand out.

Final Tip: We easily ignore what people say, but not what they do. Are you getting how this gets your ex's attention yet?..

If you're the type who only "talks" about it, I can't help you. Nobody can.

But if you'll "walk-the-walk" (even just some of the time) then get yourself over here pronto:

BreakupDojo.com

Wow. November is just one day away. The clock never stops ticking..

Michael Fulmer

DON'T HAUNT YOUR EX THIS HALLOWEEN

When Halloween swings by you'll usually find me sat in the dark, curtains closed, pretending I'm not home.

But you know what? It's one gloomy miserable Thursday. And I'm not sure hiding this year is the answer. So I'm tempted to check-in with the wife. See if we maybe do something different this time..

Now. I haven't a clue what you'll be doing?

But if you're even thinking of "haunting" your ex? Stop. Put down your phone. Close your Facebook page. And listen closely:

Your ex doesn't want you "trick-or-treating" them, whether in person or electronically. So stay clear. Otherwise you risk only making your ex more and more CONVINCED that breaking up with you was the right choice.

Unless of course:

  1. you've already given your ex adequate space since your breakup, (the "SUMO" tool inside "Breakup Dojo" helps you determine what that is);
  2. you're not bringing the same character and attitude to their "door" that they didn't want in the first place (you have to work on some important things during your break, not just sit and wait — plus, change isn't something you "talk" about…);
  3. you know exactly what you can say that won't undo all your hard work and further push your ex away (don't spook 'm..)

Visiting the grave of your relationship is one thing. But this isn't the time to creep up on your ex.

This weekend, I recommend you stay clear of your ex. But have some fun (don't hide indoors like I tend to) and celebrate the fond memories.

If you want to be prepared in case you DO "bump" into your ex?

Here's where you go:

BreakupDojo.com

Of course, there's much more to it than that. But you can find out more when you read it through.

Michael Fulmer