Many years ago I was a keen martial artist. I practised every day, and traveled far and wide to learn from others, and "cross hands." And when you're dodging fists and elbows, and dealing out a few of your own, I can't overstate how important it is that your mind is clear.
The moment you lose it, you lose it.
And you know, that's true for everything else you do in life. Because whenever your mind is not fully on the task in front of you, you're not giving that task the best of you.
When you broke up with your ex, your emotions and mind took a beating, leaving you frustrated, dazed, and lonely. If you don't gather your senses, clear your mind and regain control, you probably won't be successful. Not at getting them back. And not at much else, either.
Once your mind is broken, you are broken.
I can remember the more convincing defeats I suffered back in those martial days. They always quickly followed a loss of mind, a loss of composure and calmness. The body isn't much use without a strong mind to direct it.
The same is true for your relationship. And for practically everything else, too.
You know that thing you really want to achieve?
Unless you first get your mind clear and your emotions under control, you are just making things really hard for yourself.
Whether it's getting your ex back, completing that project or something else equally important to you …
You'll probably fail, if I'm brutally honest.
You'll have read all manner of tactics for winning back your ex that involve changing the state of their mind, about how they perceive you, and the memories they have of you.
Just don't forget about YOUR state of mind in the process.
Because that is the real key.