Checking to See if Rekindling a Relationship Is a Good Idea

The decision to rekindle a relationship is like standing at a crossroads. One path leads to a fresh start with a past love, while the other ventures into new territories, perhaps even singlehood. Both directions are valid, and choosing isn’t always easy.

But fear not; I’m here to help. This article will provide a compass to navigate your decision-making process.

So, shall we?

Step 1: Be Honest with Your Emotions

Before making any decision, it’s essential to fully understand your emotions. Are you seeking to rekindle your relationship out of love, or is it out of loneliness, fear, or guilt? Remember, good relationships are built on a foundation of love, not negative emotions.

Pro tip: Keep a journal. Write about your emotions and how they change over time. This practice can be incredibly enlightening.

It’s just like Katie, who, after her breakup, felt an overwhelming rush of loneliness. But with time and introspection, she realised that it wasn’t Luke she missed, but the comfort of companionship.

Step 2: Assess the Reason for the Breakup

Why did the relationship end in the first place? Was it due to a big fight, incompatibility, or a gradual falling out of love? Some issues, like poor communication, can be worked on, while others, like fundamental differences in life goals, are more challenging to overcome.

For instance, Sam and Laura broke up due to constant bickering about daily chores. This issue could be rectified with improved communication and understanding.

However, imagine if Sam wanted to settle down and start a family while Laura was not ready for such a commitment. Their breakup stems from a deeper root that isn’t as easily fixed.

Step 3: Imagine the Future

Picture yourself in a future where you’ve rekindled the relationship. Does it look like a romantic comedy, full of happiness and contentment, or more like a drama, fraught with challenges and issues?

Remember, movies end after a couple of hours, but life keeps rolling. Make sure you’re not just seeking a momentary climax but a sustainable, long-term connection.

Step 4: Seek Outside Perspectives

Sometimes we can be too close to a situation to see it clearly. Seek the perspective of trusted friends and family. While their opinions shouldn’t make the decision for you, their insights can provide valuable considerations you may have overlooked.

Alert: You’re seeking advice, not validation. Encourage them to be honest and open, not just echo your feelings.

Step 5: Evaluate Changes

If you’re thinking of getting back together with your ex, have you both changed since the breakup in ways that would make the relationship more successful this time around?

Let’s consider Jacob and Sophie. They broke up because Jacob was always too busy with work. Post-breakup, if Jacob has learnt to balance his work-life commitments, there could be a chance for them.

💡 Remember, successful rekindling hinges on growth and change, not merely reigniting old sparks.

Step 6: Trust Your Instincts

After you’ve considered all the above steps, what does your gut say? Are you still drawn towards rekindling the relationship, or have you realised it may not be the best idea? Your intuition can be a powerful ally in decision-making.

Summary: Choosing to rekindle a relationship is a significant decision that requires careful thought and consideration. This roadmap will help guide you, but remember, the destination is ultimately up to you. And whatever route you choose, growth, self-understanding, and happiness should be your ultimate goals. Always strive for relationships that enrich your life and make you a better version of yourself.

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About the author: i’m a relationship coach specialising in breakup recovery. i’ve been doing this for 12+ years helping thousands worldwide. i created the Breakup Dojo, a popular program with over 1,000 members. i’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. i also publish the “ex-communication” newsletter that’s packed with actionable advice to over 10,000 subscribers worldwide.