Is It OK to Date During No Contact?

Cutting contact is designed to help you focus on yourself, heal, and move forward healthily. If you are currently in the middle of a no contact phase, you may wonder if it is OK to date during this time. Will dating take away from the benefits of following this rule? Will it introduce any risks? Let’s find out.

The Downsides

Dating during the no-contact phase will complicate your life. Enough so that I do not recommend it for most people. For example, if your ex has second thoughts about the breakup and discovers you’ve started dating, your new “love story” may jeopardise your chance of reconciling.

Experience has also shown that dating too soon can distract you from working on your recovery. While dating can feel good (though this is not guaranteed,) it tends to be more of a distraction, delaying your healing journey in the early stages.

Lastly, the time frame usually recommended to stay away from your ex is almost always too short to make dating a good idea. You can’t properly find your feet enough in this time to date.

So, in most cases you are better off waiting longer before dating (when you can do so from a more positive and happier place.) This way you avoid entering a rebound relationship, which is not a solution and will only hurt you and your rebound partner in the long run.

The Upsides

Dating can help the healing process when approached thoughtfully. The key is to be honest with yourself about your readiness. And, whether you will want to attempt a repair with your ex.

If you are open to new possibilities and you are focused on building new connections? Dating can be good. As you can see, your mindset matters.

See, dating can be an opportunity for learning and growth, not a distraction. The difference is how you feel. If you are looking for an escape from pain, it’s not so smart. So, take time to process your emotions first. And to keep doing so between dates. Don’t rush into anything serious. Most importantly, don’t beat yourself up if you need more time before putting yourself out there. Honour your feelings.

With self-awareness and patience, dating can complement your journey towards healing. The no contact thing is about gaining perspective, not punishing yourself. Be kind to your heart but also be smart about this —if you plan to try again with your ex, think about how dating can impact that…


It depends on your personal situation. For many, refraining from dating during no contact is wise to fully process the breakup. However, dating can also be healthy if done for the right reasons and with realistic expectations. The key is self-awareness. Take time to heal, but don’t view dating as universally “bad” either. With mindfulness, dating can be part of moving forward. Just be sure you’re ready and approach new connections thoughtfully.

About the author: I’m a relationship coach with a focus on breakup recovery. I’ve been doing this for 13 years, helping thousands of people worldwide. I created the Breakup Dojo, a popular resource with over 1,000 members. I’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. I also publish the “Ex-Communication” newsletter, providing over 10,000 subscribers worldwide with actionable advice.

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