“Does my ex still love me?” Bah, don’t bother with a quiz for sure. I mean, what you’re really asking is will my ex come back? Which, it may surprise you to learn… there’s only ONE clue you need to know to answer that. And it doesn’t require a quiz (check the link for the answer.)
But, if you’re still here? Fair enough:
Check these 17 signs to see if your ex still loves you
So here’s how this works…
The relationship may end but the feelings do not for a while after.
And it is those FEELINGS which can lead to various actions which become clues to those paying attention. Sound good?
Great. So to help you gauge whether he or she still has feelings for you, let me point you in the right direction so you too can look for the MANY clues…
17 best signs (Look for these now!)
Use the following clues to weigh your ex’s interest levels in wanting you back.
In no particular order:
1. “Accidental” contact
Your ex “accidentally” makes contact with you.
They they show up at the same event as you, the same bar, or wherever it is you are.
They leave status updates on your location. And even “coincidentally” cross paths with you.
The other classic is the “butt dial” where your phone rings and your ex claims it wasn’t done on purpose.
2. Inner circle wannabe
Your ex makes an effort to chat to your family and friends who they didn’t know or talk to before your relationship.
Maybe your ex is chatting on Facebook to your brother/mother or best friend etc.
If so, perhaps they are not ready to put this chapter behind them.
3. Sudden convert
Your ex shows a sudden interest in things you like and enjoy which they resisted when you were going out.
You hear they now think Yoga / Badminton / Harry Potter / your Tuesday Wing Chun class (and so on) is cool. And, how they may even show up to join in (if it’s a group thing.)
If you find out your ex has new interests that align with your own, which they did not care for when you were dating?
It is a potential hint.
4. Like like like
You find your ex is “liking” your social network updates.
It could be when you check in or visit a place, especially somewhere you both used to go to?
If true, your ex is watching your status updates. And they can’t help hit that like button to let you know they’re watching and thinking of you.
5. Try hard
Your ex is posting unusually positive and upbeat updates to Facebook. Or whatever their choice of social platform is.
Everything they’re doing is “the best ever,” and it is out of character for them.
This is one of many tell-tale signs your ex is pretending to be over you, because gasp, what if they made a mistake?
And so, their social media wall is a stream of, “this amazing thing happened,” showing pictures of themselves enjoying said things.
Overcompensation of this kind points to emptiness.
6. Rebound replica
Your ex enters a rebound relationship. Worse, it is with someone who looks remarkably like you. Perhaps they even share similar characteristics to you which are far from typical.
Do they have a type?
If the breakup was recent is it more likely they have unfinished business.
7. Shared future
Your ex makes comments about a future time where you are still in their life. It might not be in a romantic way, but any future vision with you still part of their life is encouraging.
For example, “it will be nice to see the finished stadium together”.. or “after the exams finish, it’ll be good to hang out without all that pressure.”
8. Ex improvements
Your ex is working to resolve issues partly or directly responsible for the breakup.
9. Secret dates
Your ex is dating but has made a concerted effort to hide this from you.
This is a form of damage control and may point to a deep-down desire to try again. If true, they’re not 100% ready to close the door.
Your ex likes to talk about the good memories they have of your relationship. Maybe not to you (although they might) but either way this is a sign they clearly miss what you had.
What is the opposite of love? It’s not hate. It’s apathy which is a complete lack of interest.
If your ex is indifferent about you, they might have moved on.
Indifferent means no emotion at all one way or the other. And that’s bad if you’re hoping to get back together.
One signal they haven’t moved on (and thus you have a chance) is if they’re still emotional over what happened and with you.
The more emotional, the bigger the signal.
Big intense emotions signal a strong link between you both.
And yes, this includes anger as well.
Because if your ex is mad, and they yell or say nasty things about you to whoever will listen?…
While it seems like a bad sign, it actually shows your ex is still emotionally invested in you in some way. And gives you something to work on.
If your ex contacts you, whether by text, Facebook, email, phone or in person (etc.) then you are obviously on their mind.
And not just on their mind…
Because they were compelled to reach out to you.
If you get a reaction from your ex when you do something that does not involve them, you have to wonder why.
For example, if you disappear off their “radar” for a while and your ex gets upset or anxious? You have a signal they’re not done with you yet.
We all seek it and want it, even if we’d rather not admit it.
Approval is one of the three core drivers that all humans share. I explain the other two, and the implications of all three (it’s fascinating) with clients.
If your ex boasts or brags over something they’ve done, they are showing you their desire for approval.
If they somehow manage to tell you about a thing they’ve done they’re proud of?
You now know why.
They care how YOU perceive them. And that right there is a possible sign your ex still loves you.
This one is tough to witness.
It’s when your ex appears to “move on” quickly.
Rather than take the time to process the end of the relationship, they’re back out there dating somebody new.
This usually reveals they’re not over you. It shows your ex has a big hole in their life that you left. And, they’re looking to now fill it super-quick with anybody they can find.
People who move on quickly haven’t moved on at all.
We do not touch those we don’t like. It’s an unconscious choice. If I don’t like you, I won’t touch you.
If when you cross paths with your ex, they touch you, then that can signal affection. It’s an unconscious action. Born from “I like this person, I feel comfortable with this person” tendencies.
It can reveal conflicted emotions.
Pretty simple. When your ex asks questions about you they are demonstrating an interest in you.
It may be a small thing, but it can show your ex still cares about you and still misses you.
And that can be enough to build on.
All the more so if they ask YOU questions!
Does my ex still love me?
Using with the signs above, you will be better able to answer the question, does my ex still love me? but remember: these clues are only a gauge. They are not conclusive!
I have clients who rekindled their relationships despite a lack of clues about what their ex truly wanted. And they agree: the most useful thing to do is make it hard for your ex to forget you. This is healthier than looking for clues.