If you are still in love with your sweetheart, and are wondering what the do’s and don’ts are for getting your ex girlfriend back? Well, keep reading because things are about to become clearer for you.
First, consider how countless men before you have faced this very same problem, pondering their choices and taking tentative steps following their recent breakup.
In other words, you are not alone. And, from the experience of other’s you stand to gain an advantage.
Next, please know that uncertainty in choosing the next move, or how to initiate getting back together.. is perfectly normal. And yes, it can drive you mad.
Sadly, many will go about things the wrong way. They’ll rely on their snap-judgement or heated emotions to choose their actions, which usually pushes their ex girlfriend away.
Then there are those who won’t take any action at all. They feel utterly stumped, and are afraid to act. And so they don’t!
If you don’t know what you should be doing to succeed, or you are scared of making things worse, or of being rejected, then please know that you are limiting your chances.
It can be extremely hard to rekindle love. But, it is extremely rewarding to do so. And certainly not an impossible task to shy away from.
The DO’S for Getting Her Back
Let’s start with the do’s to get the ball rolling:
Find the Real Reasons for Your Breakup
It is easy to get caught up in the symptoms of your problems, instead of focusing on the root of the problem.
Try to identify the real reason that drove you both apart, rather than the arguments that stormed around it. From there, you can better see what needs to be done to fix the underlying cause.
And where applicable to that… own up to your mistakes!
Yes, this is easier said than done. What isn’t? But, this effort will give you a big advantage. You will be dealing with the real faults that caused the split, rather than wasting energy on insignificant matters.
Plus, apologising is hard enough already. If you’re going to do that, at least make it about the root problem. Cutting through to where it matters can dissolve the parts that don’t matter.
Now, it’s easy to see the faults in other’s. And yes, that includes your partner. But, it is a whole other game to do the same on the person in the mirror. Expect to work harder at this than you’d like.
Be Willing to Learn New Ways of Communicating
Many relationships suffer endlessly because of an inability to communicate well for the situation at the time.
There is more to this than simply talking more.
Often, saying less and waiting beats clever words…
We can trip ourselves up by rushing in to say what is on our minds. Perhaps you desire to hear your own words more than you desire to help your girl?
So, beware of your motives.
Communicating effectively is about using the right words to explain how you feel, and doing so without insulting or hurting the other person. But, remember that it can also be about holding back and picking a better time to speak (if at all.)
Often, you really just need to listen more. And listen to things you’d really rather not hear (probably.) If this is the case? Listen without letting your anger or defensiveness take charge.
The DON’TS for Getting Your Girl Back
OK, now let’s look at the don’ts:
While you and your girlfriend will have different stories about what went down between you both, and about who was more at fault, etc?
This is not the time to rehash it.
Look, you both know what happened. And while you might disagree about parts of it, enough of the story will overlap.
So, rather than getting bogged down with who has the most accurate history… use the time to find the root of the problem — especially the parts you are responsible for — without forcing her to relive all the worst parts for the sake of it.
Talk about it, and accept that both of you will be wrong in some ways because no one is completely innocent when ending a relationship.
Don’t Point Fingers
Instead of pointing fingers, focus on what you can improve and use your energy to take care of that now (yes, do not wait until you are back together before making changes — a common mistake.)
Also, rather than speaking about their faults like most do, you should speak to what they did right. Strive to give them the confidence that they can take care of themselves.
Speak to their strengths. Don’t get bogged down with the negatives.
Don’t Get Mad
Don’t stalk her or get angry. Be compassionate about the difficult time you are both dealing with. Make the effort to give your ex the time she needs to figure out what she wants.
This also gives YOU the time to do the same.
Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back Relies On Your Efforts
You should use this time to discover more about who you are and what you want in life. Only then can you figure out the changes you must make to align yourself to that.
This is your chance to get yourself back, not just her.
Then, when the time does come for the two of you to talk, you will have ample “proof” of your qualities that will show her you are worth a second chance… as a matter of course.
You want her to see that you won’t just end up in another fight!
This is how you improve your chances with getting your ex girlfriend back.