How Long Before No Contact Starts Working?

No contact, a strategy commonly employed in the aftermath of a breakup, is a useful tool for resetting boundaries and allowing both parties to gain clarity and perspective on the situation.

How Long Does It Take for No Contact to Work?

It’s difficult to know how long it will take to see results. It depends on your ex and also on the reason for the breakup. In most cases, we can estimate that 3–4 weeks will be plenty of time for your ex to miss you.

However, remember that taking a break from your ex is also an excellent way to reclaim your power after a breakup. It will help you feel better about yourself and build confidence, which your ex can notice when they later see you again. I recommend giving yourself at least two weeks before you assess the effects. You will find that no-contact has been worthwhile if you use your time wisely.

Speaking of which…

Remember Why You’re Doing This

This is a time for self-improvement, not just waiting. Remember that no contact is not just about winning your ex back. It’s also about:

  1. Self-Reflection: 🤔 To take the necessary time to assess your relationship, what worked, what didn’t, and what you could do differently.
  2. Personal Growth: 📚 To do the things that help you grow. That could be reading, workshops, or a new pastime. So, try new things; don’t just sit around.
  3. Physical Wellness: 🏋️ Your health is key to your well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and rest are essential. A healthy body promotes a healthy mind.
  4. Social Connections: 👥 While you should stay away from your ex, ensure you stay in touch with friends and develop new ones. Having a support network will help you weather this difficult time.
  5. Professional Help: 🆘 If you’re having trouble coping with the split, professional counselling or support groups may help.
  6. Mindfulness and Relaxation: 🧘 Meditation and things like yoga can help you relax and gain perspective. Whatever you’re into—Tai Chi in the park or colouring books—whatever calms the mind is worth exploring.

So again, as boring as it sounds… no contact “works” just as much for getting your head straight as it does for reconciliation. Mind you, any improvement you make also improves your chance of getting back with your ex.

Conclusion

It’s important to understand that this strategy takes time to work effectively. Generally speaking, no contact should be maintained for at least two weeks after the breakup. During this time, it’s important to resist the urge to reach out to your ex and instead focus your energy on healing and self-care. Once the period is up, it’s then up to you to decide if you’d like to reach out and reconnect.

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About the author: i’m a relationship coach specialising in breakup recovery. i’ve been doing this for 12+ years helping thousands worldwide. i created the Breakup Dojo, a popular program with over 1,000 members. i’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. i also publish the “ex-communication” newsletter that’s packed with actionable advice to over 10,000 subscribers worldwide.