how long to miss you if you don’t contact them?

it’s normal to wonder how long it’ll take to miss you when you stop talking to your ex. you hope they won’t last a day without missing you. but you fear they won’t miss you at all.

how much your ex will miss you depends on how long you were together and the strength of your connection.

to expand:

  • how long did your relationship last?
  • how emotionally invested was your ex?
  • who broke up with who?
  • what caused the relationship to end?

let’s look at these in turn.

how long did your relationship last?

the longer we are with someone, the longer it takes to adjust to life without them.

if you were only together for a short time, your ex may not have much difficulty moving on without you.

whereas, if you have spent more than half your lives together? it is going to take a long time to adjust. and like a fish out of water, there’s a strong urge to get back to how things were.

we get comfortable with routine, and the longer we live a routine, the harder it is to give it up.

how emotionally invested was your ex?

the more dependent we are on our partner, the harder it will be to stand on our own two feet.

we can’t help but miss the emotional connections we made with our partner, and so, we can’t help but miss it when it is gone.

the more emotionally invested your ex was in the relationship, the harder they will find it to move on.

who broke up with who?

usually, the one who initiates the breakup will be more prepared for the difficult post-breakup transition.

however, even with that advantage, the experience of living alone is going to be bitter at first.

if your ex broke up with you, you no doubt felt desolate and heartbroken.

and this only intensifies your longing for things to go back to the way they were.

however, your ex will also be struggling. prepared or not, breaking up is hard for both.

what caused the relationship to end?

love is intense, but so is hurt and pain.

if you cheated on your ex, expect them to feel a torrent of emotions toward you, including anger, hate, and pain.

a betrayed ex may miss the stability of life pre-infidelity. but after, they may hate your company more (at least until time has helped the intense emotions to subside.)

on the other hand, if you broke up over a silly argument, then both will be feeling regretful.

your ex will almost certainly be missing you in a matter of days of no contact if the breakup was over a silly fight.

the point is, the reason you broke up will affect how each feels about being single.

i mean, if your ex lost attraction for you or fell out of love, you can expect them not to miss you as much.

whatever the case, by giving your ex space and not engaging in any conversation, they may start to feel warmer emotions stirring. after all, one of the main reasons to cut contact in the first place is to help your ex to miss you.

will your ex miss you during no contact?

if you were together long enough to form a deep bond, and your ex was emotionally invested in “the couple,” they will miss you.

if every place they visit is a reminder of you, they might miss you every single day of no contact.

of course, eventually, time will heal all wounds and pain.

and so, one day you and your ex will move on if you do not find a way back together.

after which, you may think of each other from time to time, maybe missing some aspects of the other, but not enough to revisit the past.

in short, it is only natural to wonder if your ex will miss you once you withdraw from their world.

you will miss them, so they better well miss you too.

whatever the case, your job is to stick to the process you are following (e.g., “no contact.”) and, if you want to win them back, to have faith you are stacking the odds in your favour, even if it is not clear what those odds are.

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About the author: i’m a relationship coach specialising in breakup recovery. i’ve been doing this for 12+ years helping thousands worldwide. i created the Breakup Dojo, a popular program with over 1,000 members. i’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. i also publish the “ex-communication” newsletter that’s packed with actionable advice to over 10,000 subscribers worldwide.