It's three. Three is how many relationships successful couples have. Huh? Don't worry — I'll explain shortly. And make sure you read this from top to bottom because if more people knew what I'm about to share, there would be less suffering in the world.
Curiously? If you get what I'm about to tell you, you significantly increase YOUR ODDS of being the RIGHT person for your ex (… and for anyone else, for that matter.)
"Who Am I?"
OK — here's the thing:
It's really easy to lose YOU — yourself — when in a relationship.
Maybe you intuitively know this?
Ever asked the question:
"WHO am I? ..
Now that you're out of the relationship? …
Because after your breakup, a big part of the pain you are feeling is due to an identity crisis (of sorts.)
Stick with me here ..
You know that uncomfortable "nothing feels right any more" feeling you can't shake? That's what I'm talking about.
That feeling you have where life has lost its meaning and purpose.
That's the identity crisis thing. The "who am I NOW?" (and related to this is the equally painful "what's my value?" uncertainty.)
It's very common.
A breakup forces you to REDEFINE who you are .. NOW that the relationship has ended.
Aside: Those who get over a breakup the quickest are also those who are quickest at redefining who they are.
(read that again.)
Smart Couples Have THREE Relationships
I'm going to level with you ..
I spent years as a diluted version of "me" in the relationship I am in today.
That's OK though. Most people are the same. And once I saw it I made changes. It's fixable.
But for years I had committed the same mistake many of us make when in a relationship ..
Failing to maintain THREE relationships.
Alright. I guess I should explain this already:
Relationships are not just what you have between you and your partner.
That's just ONE relationship.
You also have a relationship with yourself.
Those who only recognise the ONE relationship that is SHARED between them and their partner, are those who are walking around with a ticking bomb that's waiting to go off and ruin everyone's day.
Yes, This DOES Relate to You, Your Ex, and Possibly Saving Your Relationship
You might be wondering WHY those who only focus on the relationship between each other are "walking around with a ticking bomb."
It's because they're neglecting the TWO other relationships in their life:
- The relationship person A has with person A;
- The relationship person B has with person B.
This has consequences.
Think about it like this:
If two people in a relationship only focus on the ONE relationship they have between each other …
What is going to happen to them both when it's game over?
Confusion. Emptiness. Serious discomfort ..
See — you're left with two people who are lost souls scrabbling to identify who they are … and what their meaning is in this great world.
And besides ..
Even when couples who neglect 2 out of the 3 relationships ARE together, they often have a co-dependent relationship anyway i.e not healthy nor fun.)
Each ends up substituting what is lost from themselves with something from their partner.
Take it away and watch the cards tumble down …
When you break up a couple who have derived much of their identity from the other, you will witness a lot of pain and suffering as they struggle to cope now that this support has been taken away.
If this is AT ALL related to YOU and what you're going through right now .. I'm sorry. I really am. It's not nice.
But it's far from unusual. It's VERY COMMON.
So maybe the extent of the pain you feel today is somewhat due to neglect in managing the relationship you have with yourself ..
Well, at least you are now AWARE of this.
This "three relationships" lesson is critical and I strongly urge you to investigate it further.
In doing so you stand to gain tremendously.
For now, keep this in mind:
The key is to strengthen and maintain the relationship you have with yourself. At all times.
And for your partner — whether that's your ex or somebody else — to do the same.
Then — together — you create the 3rd relationship.
That's how you have an amazing relationship.
That's how you protect yourself IF anything goes wrong.
I mean .. sure. It still hurts to lose that 3rd relationship, you still mourn the passing of what you had …
But you're doing so from a place where you still have YOU. You're not left a lost soul drifting aimlessly, wondering why you feel so empty and dead inside.
You know what's really interesting? ..
What THIS Has to DO With Your Ex
If you struggle to get YOURSELF back after your breakup ..
You will almost certainly struggle needlessly in getting your ex back.
Read that again. It's important.
If you FIRST "win back yourself" and radiate THAT?
Things get MUCH easier.
I'm not kidding.
We can't help but be fascinated by those who are aligned with their core values, who maintain a healthy relationship with themselves first and foremost.
People who are "happy regardless" are a mystery to most of us. And that gives them a magnetic quality.
If you want the best chance of winning back your ex then THIS is not an optional step.
It is THE step.
If this sounds good to you then please consider becoming a valued email subscriber — I have more to share with you (you can learn more below.)
I'm not playing around when I say:
This is how you "just happen" to become the RIGHT person for your ex.
Remember: those who take the longest to redefine WHO THEY ARE after a breakup .. are also those who suffer the longest and have the least chance of saving their relationship.
(OR having a HEALTHY relationship in the future.)
Don't let that be you.
My best wishes to you,