So you and your man have split, but you are still in love with him and want to get him back? Not unusual!
Perhaps you miss the good times that you had when he was yours, and maybe the reason you broke up is not indicative of the relationship you had together anyway (quite common.)
Well, whatever the case may be, if you want to let him know you still love him, and you want to know how to talk him into coming back to you?
Then this article is for you.
Here we will look at some of the things you can say to bring that spark back..
Before You Say Anything
You can’t sweet talk a guy and expect him to be in the mood for love again if the break-up was fairly recent.
Like with most things in life, timing is important.
Make sure you give him some time and don’t come across desperate.
Make sure he’s calm and avoid putting any expectations on him to reciprocate before he is ready to.
What you say to him — which I cover below — must come after you both have had time to heal from the breakup.
Time apart can help soften those bad vibes, painful memories, and hurt feelings.
Remember that timing is important, so make sure you have thought everything through before sending or saying anything to him.
How You Should Do it?
I recommend starting with texting.
This is the safest medium in general. You will be more comfortable texting than talking on the phone (and so will he.)
Texting allows you to take your time to really think through what you want to say, and what responses to follow up with.
It doesn’t require you to “think on your feet” like a phone conversation does.
You get to have full control of the timing.
When trying to spark feelings in a guy, it will be more nerve-wracking to do so in person, face-to-face.
But over texting?
What to Say?
What you say to him depends on the context of your situation.
Sometimes this means addressing a wrong-doing (if you upset him perhaps) while other times this could mean taking a break from a certain topic (if it will only trigger him to respond negatively.)
Only you can decide what is best.
Note: If you want help with that, I suggest getting in touch for a consultation. This way, we can work together to figure out the most sensible approach for your situation.
That said, let’s look at a couple of common conversation starters you might open with:
It seems so simple to say sorry. But when it comes down to it, we might be resistant.
If you are responsible for the way the relationship ended, you really should consider making amends.
Yet, if you are not responsible?
You may still have played a part in the ending, and it is possible that he is magnifying what you did while glossing over his part.
Yeah.. I know.
The point is, he may blank you if he perceives that you did something wrong without acknowledging to him that you did (and showing remorse.)
So consider owning up to the part(s) that are yours, even if he hasn’t done so yet.
And avoid making excuses here! It is better to just state what you did wrong, and state why you are sorry about it (you want him to see that you are actually sorry, not pretending to be!)
Take responsibility for your actions. This is attractive.
If you’ve admitted your faults, and apologised for your actions, but he still isn’t responding? Then he’s not worth your time (at least right now…)
You may love him, but it takes two to tango. So if he’s not ready to get back to you, it might be best to save yourself the pain and move on.
At the very least? Make sure you have given him enough time to be able to “hear” your apology.
Many women make the mistake of apologising too quickly, when their boyfriend is not yet ready to hear it.
“Remember When We…”
Time and space apart provides him an opportunity to miss your warmth, your touch, and your smile.
It is wise to give each other this gift!
If we do not take a pause, we spoil our chances because it is difficult to see past the immediate drama.
Yet after some time, the drama becomes “old news” and less upsetting.
At this point, you will both be more able and likely to think about the good times that you had.
And it does not hurt to help him achieve this…
Therefore, a gentle reminder of fond and unforgettable memories could be just the ticket.
If you can, make the memory more about him than about you.
Another trick to try is to send a picture of a happy memory and add some commentary to it.
Something brief, light, or even funny.
It could be as simple as, “OMG, remember this?”
This is a casual way of doing it, sure, but it is also safer as we do not want to make a fuss.
This method works best once you’ve have already had some time apart from one another, so that:
- The drama is no longer fresh;
- The opportunity to miss each other is alive
This helps to fade those bad memories a little, and make room to see the lighter side of life.
Use this to your advantage by tapping into a good memory or two, so that you might reignite some of those old feelings.
Especially remind him of the times when you were laughing and smiling, and the times when you were madly in love with each other!
After all, a sweet memory might just give you the doorway you need to talk him back into your life.
It is natural to be curious about what to say to your ex after no contact ends as it can make or break your reconciliation efforts.
Good on you for doing your homework rather than leaving things to luck!
While there is no set formula for this, if your man is hurt about something you said or did, it will be difficult to make any progress at all unless you address that first.
If he is not stuck on some injustice (perceived or real) by your hand, and has had a chance to mellow? Then it is your job to keep him mellow (do not trigger a bad memory) and a good way to do that is to talk about a good memory!
Good vibes are key to talking your man around to your way of thinking.