How to Heal from a Breakup?

The sting of a breakup can feel like a sucker punch right to the heart. Yet we know that love’s wounds are not fatal. They’re just incredibly uncomfortable. Healing from a breakup can feel like scaling Mount Everest, but trust me, the view from the top is worth the climb. Ready to begin the journey? Let’s get started.

Step 1: Acceptance is the Key

Accepting that it’s over can be as tough as chewing on a mouthful of sand. But remember, acceptance is not waving a white flag of defeat. It’s recognising that things didn’t work out, and that’s okay.

Picture this. John and Jane dated for three years, but things turned sour. They tried to make it work, but alas, it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Acceptance was John’s first step to healing. He realised their love story had run its course.

Step 2: Unleash Your Feelings

Bottling up your feelings can be as effective as using a sieve to carry water. It’s essential to let your emotions flow. Don’t get stuck playing the tough guy or girl. If you feel like crying, let it all out. No one’s going to judge you.

Consider these outlets to express your feelings:

  • Journaling or writing poetry
  • Creating art or music
  • Talking to a trusted friend or family member
  • Crying if you feel the need

Take Lisa’s example. After her breakup, she felt like a ship lost at sea. Rather than suppressing her emotions, she acknowledged them. She wept, wrote heart-wrenching poetry, and even shouted into her pillow. It wasn’t pretty, but it helped her vent.

Step 3: Seek Support

Feeling down and out? There’s no need to brave this storm alone. A problem shared is a problem halved, after all. Reach out to friends and family, or consider seeking professional help.

Consider the following avenues of support:

  • Close friends and family
  • Therapists or counsellors
  • Support groups or online communities
  • Self-help books or podcasts

Think about Tom. When his long-term relationship ended, he felt like he’d hit rock bottom. But he didn’t wallow alone. He turned to his close friends for support. Late-night chats and video game sessions didn’t erase the pain, but they provided much-needed solace.

Step 4: Rediscover Yourself

Post-breakup, it’s time to meet the person in your mirror. You’re not half of a couple anymore. You’re whole on your own. Rediscover your passions and hobbies.

Some ways to do this include:

  • Picking up an old hobby or exploring a new one
  • Travelling or exploring new places
  • Learning a new skill
  • Volunteering for a cause you believe in

Take Betty. After her split, she rediscovered her love for painting. It helped her express her emotions and remember her individuality.

Step 5: Let Go and Forgive

Letting go can feel like trying to hold onto a bar of soap in the shower—slippery and elusive. But it’s crucial. To heal, you must release the past and forgive — not just your ex but yourself as well.

Consider Sam. He held onto his anger long after his breakup. One day, he realised the only person he was hurting was himself. He chose to let go. To forgive.

Step 6: Find New Beginnings

Out of the ashes of old love, new beginnings can emerge. Finding new hobbies, meeting new people, or exploring new places can be as refreshing as a cool breeze on a sweltering summer day.

Like with Sarah. After her breakup, she signed up for a cooking class. It was a great distraction, plus she met loads of new people and found a new passion.

Step 7: Practise Self-Love

Last but definitely not least, love yourself. Don’t skip this step, it’s as important as the icing on a cake! Reassure yourself that you are enough. Make time for self-care.

Summary: Healing from a breakup is a rollercoaster ride. You’ll experience ups and downs, twists, and turns. But remember, every rollercoaster ride comes to a halt eventually. You’ll step off, maybe a little dizzy, but stronger and wiser. You’ve got this!

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About the author: Michael Fulmer is a breakup repair consultant and relationship coach. He publishes the Ex-Communication newsletter to inboxes all over the world. He also runs the Breakup Dojo, where he teaches you to make the right moves to outwit your ex’s negative feelings. Michael has been undoing breakups since 2011. No fancy suits, videos, or fake smiling photos. You won’t find Michael featured on Youtube, either.