how to sweet talk your man back into your life

keeping a cheerful mood can soften your man and lower his guard. but what else can you do to get him back? if you want to know how to sweet-talk your man so he’ll want you back, keep reading.

below we will look at a few of the things you can do and say to give your relationship another chance.


wait before you say anything

you can’t sweet-talk a guy and expect him to be in the mood for love if the breakup just happened. good timing is key. time apart will soften his mood and any hurt feelings. and you should use this fact to your advantage.

if he’s calm and relaxed when he hears from you, you’ll have better success.

also, you don’t want to come across desperate or anxious. we don’t want him to feel cornered or pressured to reciprocate before he is ready to. time apart will help you as well.

start by texting him

in most cases texting is ideal for the job. texting is easier and less likely to backfire than talking on the phone. why? because it gives you time to think through what you want to say.

psst: not having to “think on your feet” helps to keep the conversation relaxed. whereas, a phone conversation unfolds in real-time and can quickly go in the wrong direction.

with text messaging you both have more freedom with ~when~ to reply.

stick with social media messaging or regular texting to kick things off. sparking good feelings ear-to-ear or face-to-face is stressful and unnecessary.

what to say?

knowing what to say to him depends on the context of your situation.

did you upset him? will he be expecting an apology or acknowledgement of wrong-doing?

ideally neither of you will need to discuss anything painful. at least to start. because you really need to keep things light here. it is not smart to get into serious talk right from the off!

note: if he is stuck on something big that you did or said, then it is what it is: unfortunate. in these cases, i advise picking your words carefully so you address the problem in the least provocative way.

otherwise, keep clear of all serious topics including anything that might trigger bad feelings in him. you want him to associate you and your messages with good feelings. the more upbeat and happy you are, the less resistant he will be to replying.

only you can decide what the best subjects will be.

if you want help with handling your man, get in touch for a consultation with me. this way, we can work together to figure out the most sensible approach for you.

—how to say, “i’m sorry” and address the “elephant in the room”

if you are responsible for the how the relationship ended, you should own that and say sorry.

even if you only played a small role in the breakup, if he has a grudge over something you said or did? just hold your hand up and own it.

men admire directness.

for example:

“hey. saying you never did anything for me was in poor taste. i’m sorry x.”

don’t add excuses. state what you did and say sorry.

while your wrong-doings may be small, it’s normal for the other party to magnify what you did (while glossing their own part.)

yes, not fair. but human.

so nip that in the bud.

otherwise? he may blank you if he thinks you did wrong without acknowledging it or showing remorse.

psst: when you own up to the parts that are yours, you encourage him to do the same.

again, avoid using any defences here. it is better to state what you did wrong and why you are sorry. you want him to see that you are sad about what happened. you do not want him to think you are pretending to be.

when you take responsibility for your actions, you instantly become more attractive.

oh, and quick tip here: be ~brief~ with your messages. shorter the better.

and remember: make sure you have given him enough time to be able to “hear” your apology. many women make the mistake of apologising too quickly when their man is not yet ready to hear it.

—the “remember when we…” memory-evoking message

going without contact gives him a chance to miss your warmth, touch, and smile. it can be smart to give each other this gift and then take advantage of it with a memory-evoking message.

let me explain.

when we take an adequate break it is difficult to see past the immediate drama. yet after some time, the drama becomes “old news” and less upsetting.

at this point you both can more easily access the good memories of your shared past.

a reminder of a fond memory to evoke good feelings can work in your advantage.

a few tips:

make the memory more about him than you. ask yourself, “what would he enjoy thinking about?” and go with that.

another trick is to send a picture of a happy memory and add some light or funny commentary to it.

it could be as simple as, “omg, remember this?”

a picture with a few words is a casual way to do this.

remember though:

this method works best once you’ve already had some time apart from one another so that:

  1. the drama is no longer fresh;
  2. the opportunity to miss each other is alive

these conditions help to fade the recent bad memories a little to make room to see the good memories.

tap into the right memories and you will reignite the happy feelings.

help him to think of the times you were laughing and smiling, and the times when you were madly in love with each other.

triggering a sweet memory can open the door for further conversation. take advantage of this to build your chances of winning him back into your life.

your job is to improve his mood!

while there is no set formula to this, think of your job as being a “mood improver” for him.

improving his mood and keeping him in a good mood is how you can win him back. you basically want him to feel good whenever he sees your name pop up on his phone.

so, it’s key that you avoid triggering bad vibes. and really, if you can just stay clear of serious talk and life’s woes? then you’re already half way there.

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About the author: i’m a relationship coach specialising in breakup recovery. i’ve been doing this for 12+ years helping thousands worldwide. i created the Breakup Dojo, a popular program with over 1,000 members. i’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. i also publish the “ex-communication” newsletter that’s packed with actionable advice to over 10,000 subscribers worldwide.