Happy vibes and a cheerful mood can soften a man and lower his guard. But what else can you do to get your ex-boyfriend back? If the reason you broke up is not a fair reflection of the relationship you had, it’s worth fighting for. So, if your boyfriend has dumped you and you want to know how to sweet-talk your man back into your life, keep reading.
Below we will look at a few of the things you can say to give your relationship another chance and bring back the spark.
Wait before you say anything
You can’t sweet-talk a guy and expect him to be in the mood for love when the breakup happened recently. Correct timing is essential. Time apart will soften any bad vibes, painful memories, and hurt feelings. Use this to your advantage!
If you let him cool off, your efforts will have a better chance of paying off. You want him to be calm and relaxed when he hears from you. Plus, you do not want to come across desperate. We don’t want your boyfriend to feel cornered and made to feel he must reciprocate before he is ready to.
What you say to him —which I cover below— is best served after you both have had time to heal from the breakup.
How should you do it?
I recommend starting with texting if you’re not sure. You may well ask, is it a bad idea to text my ex at this point —and yes, there are caveats. Still, if you are going to contact him, texting is safer than talking on the phone as it gives you time to think through what you want to say.
Not having to “think on your feet” helps to make the conversation relaxed. In contrast, a phone conversation unfolds in real-time and can go in the wrong direction.
With text messaging, you both have more freedom with when to reply. If your man is busy, he can leave it until later before replying.
Stick with social media and texting to kick things off. Sparking good feelings face-to-face is stressful and unnecessary.
What to say?
What you say to him depends on the context of your situation.
Did you upset him? Will he be expecting an apology or acknowledgement of wrong-doing?
Below we will look at how to address the “elephant in the room.”
Ideally, neither of you will need to discuss anything painful. At least to start. Because you want to keep things light, and that’s not possible with serious talk. But, if your boyfriend is stuck on something you did or said, you’ll need to address it.
Otherwise, keep clear of any topics which will trigger him to respond negatively. You want him to associate you with good feelings! The more upbeat and happy you are, the less resistant he will be to replying.
Only you can decide what the best subjects will be.
If you want help with handling your man, get in touch for a consultation. This way, we can work together to figure out the most sensible approach to your situation.
How to say, “I’m sorry” and address the “elephant in the room”
If you are responsible for the way the relationship ended, you should own that and say sorry.
And, even if you only played a small role in the breakup? If your boyfriend is likely to take a grudge over something you said or did? You can hold your hand up to it and say:
“Hey, saying you never did anything for me was in poor taste. I’m sorry x.”
Don’t add any excuses. State what you did and say sorry.
While your wrong-doings may be small, he may be magnifying what you did while glossing over his part.
Yes, not fair!
He may blank you if he thinks you did wrong without acknowledging it or showing remorse.
When you own up to the part(s) that are yours, you encourage him to do the same.
And avoid giving any defences here. It is better to state what you did wrong, and state why you are sorry about it. You want him to see that you are sad about what happened. You do not want him to think you are pretending to be!
When you take responsibility for your actions, you instantly become more attractive.
If you’ve admitted your faults, and apologised for your actions, but he still isn’t responding? Then he’s not worth your time (at least right now.) You may love him, but it takes two to tango. So if he’s not ready to get back to you, it might be best to save yourself the pain and move on.
At the very least? Make sure you have given him enough time to be able to “hear” your apology. Many women make the mistake of apologizing too quickly when their boyfriend is not yet ready to hear it.
The “remember when we…” memory-evoking message
Going without contact gives him a chance to miss your warmth, your touch, and your smile. It is wise to give each other this gift, and then take advantage of it with a memory-evoking message.
Let me explain.
If we do not take an adequate break, we spoil our chances because it is difficult to see past the immediate drama. Yet after some time, the drama becomes “old news” and less upsetting.
At this point, you will both be more able —and likely— to think about the good times that you had.
And it does not hurt to help him with this.
A reminder of a fond and unforgettable memory is just the ticket to evoke good feelings toward you.
A few tips:
If you can, make the memory more about him than about you. Ask yourself, “what would he enjoy thinking about?” and go with that.
Another trick is to send a picture of a happy memory and add some light or funny commentary to it.
It could be as simple as, “OMG, remember this?”
A picture with a few words is a casual way of doing it, sure, but it is also safer as we do not want to make a fuss.
This method works best once you’ve already had some time apart from one another so that:
- The drama is no longer fresh;
- The opportunity to miss each other is alive
These conditions help to fade those bad memories a little and make room to see the lighter side of life.
Tap into the right memories and will reignite happy feelings in your boyfriend.
Remind him of the times you were laughing and smiling, and the times when you were madly in love with each other.
Triggering a sweet memory can open the door for further conversation. Take advantage of this to build your chances of winning him back into your life.
How to sweet talk your man back into your life
Naturally, you are curious about what to say to your ex-boyfriend. It can make or break your reconciliation efforts! Good on you for doing your homework rather than leaving things to luck.
While there is no set formula for this, these pointers will steer you well:
First, if your boyfriend is stuck on something you said or did? It will be challenging to make progress until you address that first.
Own up to your mistakes if you have to, and do it without offering any excuses. Taking responsibility will increase your value in your boyfriend’s eyes. And he may reciprocate and take responsibility for his errors.
Second, if he is not stuck on some injustice —real or otherwise— and has had a chance to mellow? Then your job is to improve his mood.
Improving your boyfriend’s mood and keeping him in a good mood is how you win him back. You want him to feel good when he thinks of you!
To help him feel good when thinking of you, avoid triggering bad memories. How? By only talking about the good times. After all, good vibes are essential to talking your man around to your way of thinking.