How to Use the Law of Attraction to Get Back With Your Ex

The Law of Attraction states that you attract into your life what you think about most often. Because of this, it’s no surprise many people use the Law of Attraction to help them with love and relationships. But how can you use it to get back with your ex?

After a quick reminder of what the Law of Attraction is, we’ll look at a three-step method you can use to help win back your loved one. Finally, I’ll give you my views on this, having helped countless men and women reunite with their loved ones.

Understanding What the Law of Attraction Is

The Law of Attraction (LOA) is a metaphysical concept derived from the 19th-century New Thought movement. It is said to be a universal law that states whatever you focus on will expand in your life. In other words, positive thoughts result in positive outcomes; negative thoughts result in negative outcomes.

If your thoughts are positive and based on hope, happiness, and positivity, you will attract that back into your life.

The theory? Suppose you want to attract someone or something specific into your life (your dream job, a mate, etc.) In that case, you must focus on the thoughts and feelings associated with those wishes.

Put another way, when you focus on something, you’re drawing it towards yourself —whether or not you want it. The law says that once your mind starts focusing on what you want, your focus will attract it like a magnet and BAM: there it is.

Bottom line: You want to think good thoughts about your future rather than negative, so your future will more likely BE good. You mustn’t focus on what you don’t have or want or what isn’t going well.

A Three Step LOA Method to Get Your Ex Back

Here’s a three-step LOA method you can use to get your ex back:

  1. Decide What You Want
  2. Release All Negative Thoughts
  3. Accept Whatever Happens

Let’s unpack this ↓

—1) Decide What You Want

The first step in using the Law of Attraction is deciding what you want. Picture it and be precise: The clearer you are, the stronger “a signal” you will emit.

I know you want your ex back, but could you be more specific about how that would look? Make an effort to paint a picture of your ideal relationship with your loved one. And then write it down exactly as you vision it.

Tip: When deciding what you want, be as detailed as possible. What does your new life look like? What emotions will you feel? Know exactly what it is that you want.

Writing down your vision/outcome and placing it somewhere visible is highly recommended. That way, every time you see your words, your subconscious mind will start bringing opportunities and ideas into alignment with your desire. It’s all about aligning yourself with a vibrational match so that whatever happens in your outer world is an instant reflection of what’s going on inside.

—2) Release All Negative Thoughts

While you’re working on your thoughts, release all negative ones. After all, going through a breakup will have generated a lot of unhelpful thoughts. And no wonder —you probably feel your entire world has crashed down.

With the LOA, it’s important to limit yourself from thinking about what could have been and about what went wrong. And so, your job is to focus on releasing all negative thoughts. Besides, while it will be tempting to replay every argument in your head or revisit all “sins,” doing so will only cause more stress.

It is better to give more space for positive thoughts. Even if you don’t FEEL like it at first —and even if they feel unrealistic— it will help you reduce stress levels and open up space for something better.

One popular method for releasing negative thoughts is to write down or draw pictures of things that represent negativity for you, like spiders or beetles, and burn them in a fire. The idea is this will reduce or eliminate your negative thoughts and retrain your brain to see the positive.

—3) Accept Whatever Happens

The universe has an amazing way of putting us in just the right place at just the right time, but only if we let it. When you’re going through a breakup, it’s easy to feel a little bit lost and wonder how everything will work out. You might even fall into a bit of a rut and find yourself doing things that aren’t all that productive. It’s OK. There is nothing wrong with feeling blue for a little while after your relationship comes to an end. Just don’t let those feelings get in your way or hold you back from what you want most: Getting back together with your ex. To get them back, you have to accept whatever happens and trust that everything will turn out for good in due time.


You can put out positive or negative thoughts into the universe. And it’s up to you which you send.

After a breakup, you will feel the odds are stacked against you in getting back together with your ex, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t steps you can take to start on the right foot. The Law of Attraction is a weird concept, yet there is no denying how we think matters immensely with how we deal with life. And whatever helps, helps. It will not hurt your chances to ensure your thoughts are positive about your situation and your ex.

Bottom line: Whether LOA works as advertised or whether you believe in a higher power or in universal laws —believing in yourself and having a can-do attitude can only help.

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About the author: i’m a relationship coach specialising in breakup recovery. i’ve been doing this for 12+ years helping thousands worldwide. i created the Breakup Dojo, a popular program with over 1,000 members. i’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. i also publish the “ex-communication” newsletter that’s packed with actionable advice to over 10,000 subscribers worldwide.