Your relationship went off the rails. The love went cold, and now you yearn for the passion and fire to come back into your life.
Below we’ll look at some of the things you can do save your relationship and undo the mess.
Lack of communication is surely one of the biggest causes of arguments in couples.
If people knew how to communicate more effectively with each other, many relationships would be saved.
However, when you communicate it is important you do not trigger your partner to react or lash out.
If they feel a need to defend themselves, or a sudden desire to leave the room…
You are doing it wrong!
Consider then what would be best for the relationship for both parties.
Try and speak to what they’re doing right. If you only focus on what is “bad” then everyone is going to feel bad.
Play the long game!
After the Breakup
Give them some time to cool off after the breakup.
They may not want to talk at all, which is a completely normal reaction.
Avoid texting, calling, or any other forms of contact for a reasonable time frame if possible.
You certainly want to give yourself time to reflect on the relationship. For one, you should see if you can determine the real reason behind the separation, and the source of your arguments.
After you’re both cooled off, you should try speaking to them again with your improved headspace.
If you are just waiting on the other person to make the first move in getting back together after a breakup, you may be wasting precious time.
Take some timeout, yes. As discussed above.
But do not be afraid to initiate the conversation and make the first move to undoing your breakup.
And when you reach out, keep in mind that it isn’t what you say but how you say it. Try not to put blame on anyone or act selfishly about situations.
Try to keep a positive tone!
Don’t just say you’re sorry to get them back, acknowledge your faults and what you did wrong, and apologise for those actions.
Do not make excuses because that will only sound like a justification.
State what you did wrong. You want to validate what your ex is feeling. Don’t try to undermine their feelings by suggesting the issues you caused are their responsibility as well!
Forgiveness means detaching yourself from the bitterness, anger, and hostility holding you back from progressing together.
Remember that forgiveness is a process and may not be something that can happen overnight.
Sometimes outside influences can brew toxicity in your relationship.
This could be your friends, in-laws, family members and co-workers and so on.
Try to keep your relationship as private as possible. Your love woes shouldn’t be everyone’s business. Instead of confessing your concerns to the people around you, try to re-spark communication with your partner.
Cool Down is Always an Option
Taking a break to let off steam is always an option.
Just because you already had a break before does not mean you can not have another one!
You should take breaks whenever you need one, because we say a lot of things we don’t mean during heated arguments.
The above are fundamental. That means they’re important and should be at the core of your efforts to save your relationship.