The Importance of Giving Each Other Space After a Breakup

Breaking up can be a catalyst for growth. It’s an opportunity to rediscover yourself. But you need to give each other space for that to happen.

Let’s explore that.

The Anatomy of a Breakup

The end of something must necessarily mark the beginning of something else. So, a relationship ends but something else begins from that point. Life moves forward and so should you.

While it’s normal to want to fix things, hold fire. I know every fibre of your being wants to reach out, find closure, or negotiate a reunion. But you can still do those things down the road.

Ever heard the saying, “mending a wound needs time”? That holds true for emotional wounds too.

The Healing Power of Space

Space is your ally. It’s the thing that allows you to hear your thoughts clearly again. It’s the distance you need to see things from a new perspective.

It’s tough, I know. You’ll be tempted to text or call, to check their social media profiles, but remember: silence is your friend. This isn’t about ignoring or avoiding your ex. It’s about giving yourself a much-needed pause to gather yourself.

Emotional Detox

Just as a body detox eliminates toxins, an emotional detox helps you cleanse your emotional system. Space provides you with the environment for an emotional detox, allowing you to clear out the lingering feelings of hurt, anger, or guilt.

Remember, if you rush into communication or force a friendship immediately after the breakup, you will bring the baggage of unresolved emotions into the new relationship or friendship. Do you really want that?

Rediscovering Yourself

I’ve seen many lose themselves in their relationship. It’s common for identities to merge together. A breakup, while hard-hitting, then becomes an opportunity to remake yourself.

Of course, this requires space and patience. The goal? To remember and reconnect with yourself. To re-evaluate your goals, your desires, and to start rebuilding your life the way you want.

Setting Boundaries

Giving each other space also means setting healthy boundaries. No stalking each other on social media, no constant messaging, no trying to bump into each other “accidentally”. The idea isn’t to erase them from your life, but to create a respectful distance to allow both to breathe and heal.

Now, if you do cross paths, that’s fine. Just be courteous and concise. Avoid long conversations or emotional outbursts.

The Reconnection Phase

After enough time has passed, the feelings of hurt and betrayal will be mostly gone. It’s then that you can attempt to re-enter each other’s lives if you wish to. But remember, this should be a decision based on a clear mind and a healed heart, not out of desperation or loneliness.

One more thing: rushing into a new relationship or a “rebound” isn’t smart. You don’t want to end up dragging old baggage into a new relationship.

Oh, and let’s say it how it is —

This journey is going to be challenging. You’ll have moments of weakness, of despair, but I want you to know that it’s okay and you will ~be~ okay.

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About the author: i’m a relationship coach specialising in breakup recovery. i’ve been doing this for 12+ years helping thousands worldwide. i created the Breakup Dojo, a popular program with over 1,000 members. i’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. i also publish the “ex-communication” newsletter that’s packed with actionable advice to over 10,000 subscribers worldwide.