If your last relationship ended on good terms with both of you feeling at peace with the decision, you’re one of the few lucky ones.
Most of the time, relationships are messy.
Perhaps you said some hurtful things in the heat of the moment and she retaliated? You may have been angry at the time but after some time and space, you’ve realised that you miss her and you want her back.
Relationships can often be fixed with some proper care. If you’re looking to win her back, here’s what you’ll have to do:
Show Her That Your Life is in Order
Chances are you’re lonely and you’re hurting.
It can be tempting to wallow in sadness and hope that she takes pity on you, but this is the exact opposite of what you should be doing.
If you want to win her back, you’ll have to concentrate on the things that you can improve within yourself first.
Ladies want to see men who take initiative to improve themselves.
Perhaps your girlfriend has commented on something you did when you were dating. If it’s something that will truly make you a better person, why not do it? There’s no better time. If she complained that you spent too much time playing games and too little time cleaning up around the house, cut down and clean up. Wash your clothes and make sure your shirt is ironed. Becoming a new-and-improved person even without her will show her that you truly have changed.
Another great thing to do is to update your look.
There’s a reason why some women cut their hair or try out a new style after a breakup. It’s a symbol of a new era. Show your ex that it’s an era of a new you by making subtle changes to your wardrobe. A couple of sharp shirts and a great pair of pants will go further than you think.
Approach it with The Right Mindset
One of the most important things you have to do in this period is to recover emotionally. A lot of people looking to get their ex back end up grovelling and making empty promises. Being desperate and clingy won’t be healthy for either one of you, so it’s important that you get a grip on yourself before making a move to get her back.
You need to show her that you can function without her, even if it’s the opposite of what you feel. So get out of your room and spend some time with friends. Take a trip to the beach and enjoy life. You want to draw her into a happy, positive you, not a needy, sorrowful one.
Besides recovering emotionally, you’ve got to develop some fortitude. Don’t hit her up at night after you saw her at a restaurant with another guy. You don’t want to be the clingy, jealous ex. She no longer has an obligation to you and you definitely won’t be appealing to her if all you do is ask her why she was at that restaurant.
It can often be a challenge to be mature in a breakup, but it’s something you’ll have to do if you want her back. Stop being jealous and trying to control her. Be non-threatening and show her that you’re mature enough to be her friend.
You may not feel fine, but you’ll have to make it look fine.
Who’s going to want to come back to a depressed, needy you? Show her that you’re doing your best to move on and live life fully. Embrace happiness and surround yourself with the people you love. People are drawn to positivity, and she will be too.
On that note, embrace humour. Women often are drawn to men who make them laugh. Tell some jokes and smile easily. Learn to make fun of yourself and be confident. She may realise that you’re someone who she wants to be around.
Don’t Be Too Aggressive
It isn’t always going to be a good idea to show up on her doorstep in two days with a stereo playing your song. You don’t want to push her into getting back with you. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if the one you shared was overall pleasant, you want her to look back on the good times fondly.
Give her time to remember you and think about the great moments you shared.
Don’t be aggressive — give her space.
Stop messaging her on social media and don’t make plans to meet up. Let it cool off.
Spend your time improving yourself so you can show her that you’re ready to be the person she needs. You want her to see you as mature, independent, and wanting the best for her. This way, she’ll have a newfound respect for you and whether or not she decides to give the relationship another go, at least she will see you as a great person and not a clingy ex.