Unrequited Love: What Is It and Can It Be Treated?

A love that is not returned in kind…

Most people are familiar with the subject of “unrequited love” having experienced it at some point in their life.

If you love someone who does not love you in return, you have my sympathy.

What is Unrequited love?

Unrequited love is love that moves in one direction only. It is also known as one-sided love.

You love them, but they don’t love you.

Very sad.

A rough section of a wall with a simple illustration on it. The artwork shows a red square, with a white heart inside it.

How to Tell When It Occurs?

When your love is unreciprocated, the other person either:

  1. Ignores you;
  2. Tells you they don’t love you;
  3. Dates other people;
  4. Breaks up with you;
  5. Only offers friendship.

In all cases, actions speak louder than words.

It is also helpful to be aware that:

One, sometimes the person you love is not aware of your feelings.

There are many people walking around right now, unaware they have an admirer!

In this case, you might consider telling your sweet what you feel.

Of course, you may have a good reason not to.

Two, in some cases, your object of affection will be perfectly aware of your feelings.

In this case, they may choose to reject or ignore it. Why? Either because they don’t have the same feelings for you, or they do it because it is not practical to have a relationship with you.

Three, in the case of two people breaking up:

The two-way love that was there at the beginning can hit a blockage. With that, the attraction dies.

Alternatively, there will be other factors which now make the relationship impractical. The love may not “stop” as such, but the conditions for a loving relationship can stop.

The result is the same.

And after a breakup, one person might remain in-love for a good while, while the other person moves on.

So you either start with one-way love, or you end with it if you separate.

What Causes Unrequited Love?

When we do not feel attraction for another, or the attraction is blocked, the deep emotional bonding required for love can not take hold.

Of course, love, and what causes a man or woman to be desirable, is a big topic.

Physical attraction is one level. But only the tip of the iceberg.

Moral values, status, intelligence, charm, emotional connection, etc. each play a role.

According to Dr Roy Baumeister, falling for someone more desirable than oneself —who has a higher market value— creates the mismatch which can cause unrequited love.

And let’s not ignore how platonic friendship also provides ample ingredients for unrequited love, too.

To develop romantic feelings, we first require regular encounters in which said feelings may grow.

Any situation that places two or more people together —especially with high frequency— can spark affection.

Common examples include the workplace, school, or indeed any group activity.

Remedies for Unrequited Love

How do you treat unrequited love?

In most cases, the healthy and sensible thing to do is move on with the hope of finding mutual love.

To help overcome unreciprocated love, consider travelling or pursuing a worthy goal.

However, what if your love has not always been unrequited?

After you break up, you may find your affections have become one-way. In which case, you may investigate your options to restore the connection.

Restoring the connection is the goal of this website: Undo A Breakup

Only once you have exhausted —within reason— your options to get your ex back should you divert your energy to the path of moving on.

Psst.. Do You Want To Know if You Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back?

I’ll give you SEVEN dead giveaway clues your ex wants you back or is having second thoughts…

Hit the big red-ish button now to find out what these seven clues are, and a ho’ bunch more:


My girlfriend and I broke up last week. I followed your instructions and we are back together — Erick Nelson

About the author: Michael Fulmer is a breakup consultant and writer of The Ex-Communication newsletter. Creator of Breakup Dojo and Second Chance, teaching “how to outwit your ex’s negative feelings.” Michael has been repairing breakups since 2011. No fancy suits, shooting videos, or posting fake smiling photos. Michael —“as not featured on Youtube”— Fulmer.