Growing Apart: Reconnecting and Rekindling

April 2025

Feeling disconnected from your partner can be a lonely experience. But with the right tools, you can bridge the gap and rediscover your connection.

Signs of Emotional Distance

  • Lack of meaningful conversations
    • Decreased physical affection
      • Pursuing separate interests without sharing
        • Feeling like roommates rather than partners
          • Loss of shared goals or future plans

            How Growing Apart Affects Relationships

            • Increases vulnerability to outside attractions
              • Leads to feelings of loneliness even when together
                • Can result in a loss of intimacy and passion
                  • May cause questioning of the relationship’s future
                    • Often results in decreased overall life satisfaction

                      Gottman’s Methods for Reconnecting

                      Dr. Gottman’s research emphasises the importance of maintaining friendship and shared meaning:

                      1. Build Love Maps: Continuously update your knowledge of your partner’s world
                        1. Share Fondness and Admiration: Actively appreciate each other
                          1. Turn Towards Instead of Away: Respond positively to bids for connection
                            1. Create Shared Meaning: Develop rituals and goals together

                              Exercises for Shared Meaning and Goals

                              • The “Perfect Day” Exercise: Describe your ideal day together and find common elements
                                • Relationship Timeline: Reflect on your journey and plan future milestones
                                  • Gottman’s Love Map Questions: Deepen your understanding of each other’s worlds
                                    • Shared Goals Workshop: Identify and plan for mutual short and long-term objectives

                                      When to Seek Professional Help

                                      Consider therapy if:

                                      • You feel like you’re living parallel lives
                                        • Attempts to reconnect aren’t yielding results
                                          • You’re unsure how to start bridging the gap
                                            • You’re questioning if you still have anything in common

                                              Rediscover Your Connection

                                              Growing apart doesn’t have to mean growing out of love. I can help you reconnect and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.