i’m michael fulmer, a full time 12-years running breakup recovery expert and coach. if you find yourself single when you don’t want to be, you are in the right place. i’ve been showing men and women how to undo a breakup since 2011. so i know what works. in fact, caveats aside, i’ll give you the big picture of what works right now:
- don’t be an idiot
- get your shit together (stand up straight, don’t be weird, prepare for a process not an event)
- “unfaze-ify” yourself (kill neediness)
- be cool when you make contact
i’ll expand a bit for you —
Table of Contents
don’t be an idiot
getting dumped makes people do unpersuasive things. desperate things. things that weaken a man or woman’s value.
do your best to not do those things and you’ll not sabotage yourself.
tip: if you need to, stay away from your ex for a while until you have better control.
not being an idiot means you’ll not worsen your chances.
and that’s a start.
get your shit together
get better, not bitter. this is not a cryptic message. it’s pretty obvious that getting a handle on things will be better for you than letting things spiral out of control.
life goes on and you have stuff to do. so do it.
the less you need something, the more sane you’ll be. the more sane you are, the more attractive you are. the more attractive you are, the more desirable you’ll be. obviously. so the job here is to work at being a little less fazed by what happened. and then work on being a little less than that. and so on.
basically, you need to de-escalate your “my ex is my world” false beliefs.
be cool when you make contact
whenever you chat with your ex, be cool. it’s just better that way. better than being serious. better than being defensive. than talking about what went wrong.
being easy to deal with will go far.
yeah, there are caveats and other angles to consider. this is life. it’s nuanced. but we can avoid a lot of trapdoors by being cool and keeping the pressure low in our interactions.
My girlfriend and I broke up last week. I followed your instructions and we are back together— Erick Nelson
worth your time
- find out what it means when your ex returns your stuff.
- what if you cheated, and now you want her back? 👀 (tut tut…)
- find out why exes come back after you move on. yeah, it’s a pickle, but once you demonstrate independence, some ex’s become irresistibly drawn back into your orbit 🧲 🤷♂️
- so, should you text your ex? (and if yes, when?)
- learn what to do after no contact so you don’t make any mistakes.
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want personal guidance? i offer coaching (both monthly and one-off coaching “shots” for quick answers to your questions.) one-on-one consulting is the ultimate way to navigate this difficult time.