Infidelity and Affairs: Healing Your Relationship

April 2025

Infidelity can shake a relationship to its core. But with the right approach, it’s possible to rebuild trust and emerge stronger.

Understanding Infidelity

Infidelity comes in different forms:

  • Physical infidelity: Sexual contact outside the relationship
    • Emotional infidelity: Forming a deep emotional bond with someone else

      Both can be equally damaging to a relationship.

      How Infidelity Affects Relationships

      • Breaks trust
        • Creates emotional distance
          • Leads to feelings of betrayal and inadequacy
            • Can cause depression, anxiety, and trauma

              The Gottman Method’s Approach

              Dr. John Gottman’s research-based approach offers a path to healing:

              1. Atone: The unfaithful partner takes responsibility
                1. Attune: Both partners work on understanding each other
                  1. Attach: Rebuild intimacy and connection

                    Techniques and Exercises

                    • Transparency Exercise: Share all information about the affair
                      • Trust Revival Method: Small, daily actions to rebuild trust
                        • Gottman-Rapoport Exercise: Improve listening and understanding

                          When to Seek Help

                          Consider professional help if:

                          • You’re struggling to communicate about the affair
                            • Trust isn’t improving over time
                              • You’re unsure how to move forward