Trust Issues: Rebuilding the Foundation

April 2025

Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. When it’s damaged, the entire relationship can feel shaky.

Sources of Trust Problems

  • Past betrayals or infidelity
    • Consistent broken promises
      • Lack of emotional or physical availability
        • Secrecy or lack of transparency
          • Unresolved past traumas

            How Trust Issues Affect Relationships

            • Create constant tension and anxiety
              • Lead to excessive jealousy or controlling behaviours
                • Hinder intimacy and vulnerability
                  • Cause second-guessing of partner’s actions and words
                    • Make it difficult to plan for the future together

                      Gottman’s Trust-Building Methods

                      Dr. Gottman’s research has identified key elements in building and maintaining trust:

                      1. Attunement: Being aware of your partner’s needs and responding to them
                        1. Transparency: Being open and honest about thoughts, feelings, and actions
                          1. Turning Towards: Consistently responding to your partner’s bids for connection
                            1. Commitment: Showing loyalty and prioritising the relationship

                              Exercises for Rebuilding Trust

                              • Trust Revival Method: Daily check-ins to discuss concerns and appreciations
                                • Emotional Transparency Exercise: Practice sharing vulnerable feelings
                                  • Gottman’s Stress-Reducing Conversation: A daily 20-minute chat about life outside the relationship
                                    • Past Experiences Exploration: Discuss how past relationships have shaped your views on trust

                                      When to Seek Professional Help

                                      Consider therapy if:

                                      • Trust issues persist despite your efforts
                                        • You’re struggling to forgive past betrayals
                                          • Jealousy or suspicion is affecting daily life
                                            • You want to trust but find it difficult

                                              Restore Trust in Your Relationship

                                              Rebuilding trust takes time and effort, but it’s possible. I can guide you through this process, helping you create a stronger, more secure bond.