The Sound Relationship House

March 2025

The Sound Relationship House is a theory developed by Dr. John Gottman. It outlines seven levels of a strong relationship, built on a foundation of trust and commitment.

The Seven Levels

  1. Build Love Maps
    1. Know your partner's world
    2. Share Fondness and Admiration
      1. Express appreciation and respect
      2. Turn Towards Instead of Away
        1. Engage with partner's bids for connection
        2. The Positive Perspective
          1. Approach problems as a team
          2. Manage Conflict
            1. Address solvable and perpetual problems
            2. Make Life Dreams Come True
              1. Create shared meaning and support each other's aspirations
              2. Create Shared Meaning
                1. Build a shared sense of purpose and values

                The Foundation: Trust and Commitment

                • Trust: Believing your partner has your best interests at heart
                  • Commitment: Cherishing your partner and the relationship above all else

                    How to Use the Sound Relationship House

                    1. Assess your relationship at each level
                      1. Identify areas for improvement
                        1. Work on strengthening each level
                          1. Understand how each level supports the others

                            Benefits of a Sound Relationship House

                            1. Improved communication
                              1. Deeper emotional connection
                                1. Better conflict management
                                  1. Increased relationship satisfaction
                                    1. Shared sense of purpose

                                      Remember, building a strong relationship is an ongoing process. Regularly check in on each level of your Sound Relationship House.