Do Exes Come Back?
Wondering if your ex will come back? You're not alone. It's one of the most common painful questions after a breakup. The truth? Some do. Some don’t. But your actions matter more than the odds.
Exes come back 10 to 30% of the time. Sometimes more. It depends on what you do.
This page will show you what influences those outcomes and how to stack the deck in your favour.
Studies show different numbers. Why? The advice people follow matters. Better moves mean better chances.
Most research focuses on specific groups: college students, young adults, or cohabiting couples. Your situation may be different.
Why They Come Back
Exes return for many reasons:
- Hasty breakups lead to regret
- Non-critical issues caused the split
- External factors ended the relationship
- Friends and family support you
- Time apart changes perspectives
One client said: “My ex realized I was important after we broke up.”
Tip: Focus on improving your odds, not wondering if it’s possible.
How Often It Happens
10 to 30% of exes return. Sometimes more. Good communication helps. You can improve these odds by avoiding mistakes and following solid advice.
When It Happens
Exes are more likely to return when:
- Feelings linger
- There’s doubt about the breakup
- Neither has dated others
Other factors that help:
- Your ex sees you as “the one”
- They’re uncertain about being apart
- They don’t want to be alone
- No one else is in the picture
Remember: These factors help, but aren’t required.
How Long It Takes
Days to months is typical. After a year is rare, but it happens. On-again/off-again couples may see patterns.
Your job: Make the right moves to help your ex come back.
The Bottom Line
Exes can come back. It’s not guaranteed, but it’s possible. Your best move: Create opportunities for the outcome you want.
As I wrote on Quora:
No one knows exactly how often exes reunite. But some do. If you want your ex back, don’t look for statistics. Take action. Decide to try or move on.
Conclusion
If your ex misses you and values the relationship, a second chance is possible. Don’t underestimate familiarity. As one person said:
Getting back with my ex was like coming home. It felt like we were never apart.
Exes often return to ease loneliness and pain. Your moves can make the difference.
Still love your ex? Get smart before you act.
This free tool gives you:
- Custom advice for your situation
- Clear next steps
- Pitfalls to avoid
No email required. Takes 30 seconds.
References: The Journal of Social Psychology on "On-Again/Off-Again Dating Relationships: What Keeps Partners Coming Back?"
By Michael Fulmer: Breakup expert with 14 years experience. Trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level 1 & 2). Thousands helped worldwide. Created Breakup Dojo — now 1,000+ members strong, and UNFAZED (new release.) My products sell. My advice works. Psychology obsessed. It shows in my work! 10,000+ read my “Ex-Communication” newsletter. Need breakup help? I’m your guy.