How to Get Your Ex Back After No Contact?
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What You Did During No Contact Matters
Your actions during no contact affect your chances. You can learn from mistakes, improve yourself, and come back stronger.
Fix problems before contacting your ex. Here's how:
- Find the root cause of your breakup.
- Ask: “Can I solve this problem?”
- Ask: “Am I prepared to fix this problem?”
Don't follow rash emotions. Wait a day before acting on strong feelings.
What to Do After No Contact
Test the waters with a text message. It's less risky than a call or meeting.
Send an easy-to-reply message. Example:
“Behold, a message from your witty ex. Are you still as driven as I remember? 👀”
Tailor your approach:
- For ex-boyfriends: Show admiration. "I always admired your [specific achievement]."
- For ex-girlfriends: Express appreciation. "Your [unique quality] is special."
Consider alternatives:
- Email: Good for longer, thoughtful messages.
- Letter: Best for meaningful apologies or explanations.
Keep conversations light. Discuss:
- Recent movies or TV shows
- New hobbies or skills you've picked up
- Funny, non-romantic memories you share
Build the connection slowly. Don't rush. Take tiny steps.
Keep it light. Don't mention the breakup or relationship in early conversations.
Be patient. Don't pressure yourself or your ex.
After Getting Back Together
Fix what caused the breakup. Or you'll repeat the same mistakes.
Don't take shortcuts. Resolve the original issues.
Remember: What you did to lose your ex will happen again if you don't change.
Follow these steps, and you'll improve your chances of a successful reunion.
Still love your ex? Get smart before you act.
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- Custom advice for your situation
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By Michael Fulmer: Breakup expert with 14 years experience. Trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level 1 & 2). Thousands helped worldwide. Created Breakup Dojo — now 1,000+ members strong. My products sell. My advice works. Psychology obsessed. It shows in my work! 10,000+ read my “Ex-Communication” newsletter. Need breakup help? I’m your guy.