How to Calm Down After a Breakup (First Step)

Breakups hijack your nervous system.

Your thoughts race.

Your chest tightens.

Everything feels urgent. Or hopeless.

You replay conversations.

You imagine them with someone else.

You tell yourself, "I'll never feel normal again."

But before we do anything else, remember this:

You're not broken.

You're not weak.

You're human.

What you're feeling has a name.

Meet the Thinking Trap

The Thinking Trap is what happens when emotion masquerades as truth.

You don't just feel panic — you believe your panic is a prophecy.

You don't just miss them — you decide that means you're meant to be.

Your brain turns every thought into a warning, and every feeling into a fact.

The more you think...

The worse you feel.

And the worse you feel...

The more you think.

It loops. And spirals. Fast.

This is how breakups break people before they even talk to their ex again.

So let's interrupt the loop.

Step 1: Name the Trap

The moment you notice you're spiralling — pause.

Take a slow breath.

Then say:

Yes, say it out loud if you can.

This tiny act does three big things:

That moment of awareness might only last a few seconds.

But that's all you need to move on to step two.

Step 2: Run the Emotional Grounding Loop

Think of this as your emotional first-aid kit.

It's not about "feeling better."

It's about regaining control in the moment.

Here's the loop:

This is your body's way of saying:

You might need to do this loop five times a day at first. That's fine.

You're building emotional muscle.

Step 3: Lay Down Your Foundation

Once you've stabilized?

Now we get to work.

Not with dramatic "fix your life" overhauls — but with daily grounding habits.

I call this the Foundational Habits System. It includes:

These are unsexy.

But they work.

They restore identity.

They stabilize chemistry.

They remind your nervous system that you're capable.

And they do something else too:

Final Thought

Breakups don't just hurt.

They disorient.

You lose the person — but you also lose the rhythm, the mirror, the future you pictured.

So let me offer you a new rhythm.

That's the first move.

That's how you get out of the fog.

Want the Rest of the System?

If this helped you feel even 5% clearer... good.

The next steps are mapped out for you inside UNFAZED — my complete system for healing with dignity and (if it's right) reconnecting with your ex from a place of strength.

You'll learn:

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See what's inside UNFAZED →