Was Breaking Up Right for You?
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Breakups aren't always the answer. Sometimes they happen in the heat of the moment. Here's how to tell if ending your relationship was the right call.
Was It Rash?
Couples often split over ego. Nobody wants to lose an argument. If this sounds familiar, you might be pushing away the right person.
Was It Great?
Think back. How often did you fight? How did you feel most of the time? Could you be honest with each other? If things were mostly positive, breaking up might have been hasty.
Do You Have Kids?
Divorce hits children hard. Can you find a solution for their sake? If you can create a healthy family environment, try to stick it out. If not, separation might be best.
Was It Bad Luck?
Sometimes breakups happen because of outside forces. Long-distance or demanding careers can wreck relationships. If you loved being together, give it another shot.
What Do Others Say?
Fresh eyes help. If friends and family think you should reconcile, listen. But remember, it's your relationship. Weigh their input against other signs.
Is There Potential?
Many relationships can be great if both people work at it. Be honest with yourself. If you had mutual respect and comfort, reconciliation might be worth it.
How to Decide
Breakups are emotional rollercoasters. Give yourself time to recover before making big decisions. Don't contact your ex. Let the dust settle.
The 30-Day Test
After a month, check in with yourself. If you want nothing to do with your ex, the breakup was probably right. If you feel better without them, it might have been a bad relationship. But if you feel worse and regret the decision, consider saving the relationship.
Still love your ex? Get smart before you act.
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By Michael Fulmer: Breakup expert with 14 years experience. Trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level 1 & 2). Thousands helped worldwide. Created Breakup Dojo — now 1,000+ members strong. My products sell. My advice works. Psychology obsessed. It shows in my work! 10,000+ read my “Ex-Communication” newsletter. Need breakup help? I’m your guy.