Hello, I’m Michael Fulmer. And I am a breakup consultant who has spent the past 12 years helping men and women get back together after a breakup.
Imagine if you could melt away your ex’s negative feelings toward you, without resorting to tricks and giving up your power? Because the opportunity exists, and thousands have experienced this first-hand. And you could, too.
I love learning about human relationships, and that’s why my background is largely focused on two areas: Psychology and communication.
The insights I have gained over the years has helped hundreds of thousands of men and women all over the world to solve their relationship problems.
And, all of this without asking a single client or web visitor to watch videos of me on YouTube, or join a FaceBook group.
My speciality is reversing breakups (both the pain of a breakup and —where sensible— the relationship itself.)
Jump to: “How I Got Started” →
If you want actionable “do this” advice, then you’re in the right place. I am more coach than counsellor.
This website forms a key part of my mission: To turn as many bad relationship situations good as I can.
I achieve this through online courses and by working with clients directly.
Clients get the best results from 1-on-1 coaching. However? Being an ex back expert is time-intensive, which means there are limited spaces. To counter that, I also have “DIY” courses available.
“You’ve actually changed my life…”
Helping people is inherently rewarding —
Since seeking your mentorship, I’ve focused more on my business, found value in myself, and have learned to be happy, grateful, and emotionally stronger. You’ve actually changed my life, and for that I’m in debt to you
My girlfriend and I broke up last week. I followed your instructions and we are back together
Hi Michael, I wanted to thank you for your innate kindness and wisdom. While the impetus for approaching you was a breakup, to my surprise, your approach was far more holistic and caring.
Your advice is practical and direct. It reflects a profound understanding of relationships and how to repair.
I want to thank you. I was in a breakup 3 weeks ago but I read and followed your rules and now I have my woman back. Your book gave me an understanding of a relationship. Thanks Mike
Names withheld for client confidentiality.
Get a POMO?
When you action my advice, you increase your odds of success in saving your relationship. How? By working toward achieving a Position Of Most Opportunity. Which means you give yourself the best chance of achieving your goals, regardless of your situation.
Why Trust Me?
As @Kpaxs so eloquently tweeted:
Knowing isn’t doing.
Certificates aren’t competence.
A plan isn’t implementation.
Ideas aren’t invoices.
Revenue isn’t profit.
“No” isn’t the end.
I earned my competence through doing while working in the trenches.
A Never Ending Journey
No matter how long I spend in this field, there is always more to learn. I have spent thousands of hours doing what I do. And I’ll continue to rack up the hours doing more of it. It is a never ending journey.
If you ask anyone who has gone deep into a subject whether they have found the bottom, and you’ll hear something interesting —there’s isn’t one! That’s my view anyway, because I’ve discovered that being an expert does not mean you stop learning. Why? Because as knowledge increases, so does your awareness of how much more there is to learn.
How I Got Started
I can’t begin to tell you the things I discovered while I was looking for something else.Shelby Foote
Three out of the
four five marriages in my family have ended in divorce.
Back in 2008, I found myself researching the factors the lead to separation because of a 75% failure rate in my family (at that time.)
The result of that leads to me doing what I do today.
Another divorce! Are you kidding me?
It blew my mind.
You know, back in my school years I’d often stand back to observe the motives of the kids around me.
I was nosey perhaps, but I felt like a scientist looking into beakers to see the results.
When I left school this interest didn’t fade. It got worse (better?)
Outside of the usual distractions, I would spend my free time understanding why people do what they do.
And, it was this grasp of human nature (and the primary drivers of human behaviour) that paid off for me.
Fast forward to 2008:
Here I was, seeing yet another marriage heading for divorce, and…
I couldn’t hold back any longer. My attention suddenly shifted to the subject of human relationships…
I was already fascinated by psychology.
Maybe it was a coping mechanism?
But the thing I researched most in 2008?…
It was CHEATING.
See, infidelity had occurred in all three failed marriages at that time.
So I got deep in research…
I wanted to know why affairs happened, the causes, the effects, and to know about the people who do it. And I did this backward, forwards, and sideways. And you know?
It revealed A LOT of interesting facts and clues about what makes you and me do what we do.
Stuff that went way beyond the cheating.
Now, it’s a long story. And you probably don’t need to hear it.
Here’s what followed this research:
- I launched an affair survival website, personally helping hundreds to cope with betrayal, and navigate the difficult decisions that lay ahead (and with those who were determined to save their marriage, I introduced them to Dr. Gunzburg, Ph.D, licensed psychologist);
- I then created a program to help with trust issues and the “mental torment” that typically follows an affair;
- Couple years later I launched another website, but this time on breakup recovery which is the site you are reading now;
- From there I got busy creating and launching a complete breakup-to-makeup program back in 2015, which currently has over a thousand members (and climbing)..
Some of this was part accident, and some was part “what if..” but it has all been rewarding.
Thanks for all of your insights and tough love, for giving it to us straight, and for offering most of your advice for free. I could have gotten through my break-up without you, but I would have been twice as miserable with half the personal growth
Who Am I?
Michael Founded undoabreakup.com in 2011 and works with clients from all over the world.
I’m a happily married, 43-year-old guy living in the UK. My wife and I have been together 23 years. We live in a small, charming town that’s a short drive from one of the best cities the UK has —Bath (it’s a beautiful city which you must visit if you ever get the chance.)
Those who know me know I am a private guy.
I value privacy. I think it’s sacred. So, I keep myself to myself. Yet, online, we live in a time where sharing photos and personal information is expected to build trust and familiarity with your audience. Still. As a man governed by principles, I accept the tradeoff.
Why I Launched undoabreakup.com?
You know, this website came about as a result of watching two close friends go through a nasty breakup. Back in 2010, I think…
I recall thinking, “wow, these broken-hearted souls could actually figure this out and get back together if they wanted to…”
So I looked into that. And I was right.
OK… this page is already long. So all I’ll say for now is that through one thing and another I ended up doing what I do today. And it was a natural progression.
The knowledge I picked up along with the results I got, just built and built until it made no sense not to do it.
And so here we are.
What tickles me though is that I never intended to do this full time. And for a good while, I didn’t! For a few years I was working a day job. So, I was juggling clients and research in my spare time. But I was soon getting burnt out. So eventually I quit the day job and put all my focus here.
(Although, over the years since, whenever Google “modulates” this website’s traffic DOWN, I spend time on other projects. So, my time commitment to this work is linked to how much work the big search engine sends.)
That aside, the truth is I’ve never really known what I wanted to do in life. I would look at other people who knew “their mission” and get jealous.
Even felt that way?
So for me? I was waiting for a big bright “sign” to tell me what to do (only half-kidding.)
But what IS clear and evident to me NOW is that I’m good at this. And the people I work with get results. Simple as that. They leave me better than I found them. And that’s just as important a reason for why I am doing this as any.
And so this has become my mission now.
AND… if you’re good at something, never do it for free (as the Joker said in “The Dark Knight” — a great movie.)
What about you?
If you’re stuck not knowing what to do in life, maybe do what you’re good at. At least START there…
(Definitely don’t wait around for the big sky God to show you what to do.)
I’ll leave you with this…
You deserve the life you design. So design the life you deserve.
(You know there’s no such thing as “deserve” in this world? It’s a human made concept. Not a law. People get hung up on it though. Like justice. It’s self-made. So go create what you deserve..)
Thanks for reading.
In your corner,
Hi Michael, I wanted to thank you for your innate kindness and wisdom. While the impetus for approaching you was a breakup, to my surprise, your approach was far more holistic and caring. You showed genuine concern for all parties. A breakup is difficult and you’re not interested in quick fix tricks but helping people have a richer relationship; indeed a richer life. Your advice is practical and direct. It reflects a profound understanding of relationships and how to repair. You do not shy away from awkward questions. You’re able to inspire a way forward for a damaged relationship: that is to bring out the best in ourselves.