Hello, I’m Michael Fulmer. And I am a
relationship consultant student of human relationships.
I have helped thousands of clients from all over the world solve their relationship problems. My speciality is reversing breakups.
Psst: If you have recently broke up, you may want to start with my big picture overview of how to get an ex back and work from there.
If you want actionable “do this” advice, then you’re in the right place. I am more coach than counsellor.
This website forms a key part of my mission: to turn as many bad relationship situations good as I can.
I achieve this through my various online courses and by working with clients directly.
Clients get the best results from 1-on-1 coaching. However? Coaching is time-intensive, which means there are limited spaces. To counter that, I also have “DIY” courses available.
“You’ve actually changed my life…”
Helping people is inherently rewarding —
Since seeking your mentorship, I’ve focused more on my business, found value in myself, and have learned to be happy, grateful, and emotionally stronger. You’ve actually changed my life, and for that I’m in debt to you
My girlfriend and I broke up last week. I followed your instructions and we are back together
Hi Michael, I wanted to thank you for your innate kindness and wisdom. While the impetus for approaching you was a breakup, to my surprise, your approach was far more holistic and caring.
Your advice is practical and direct. It reflects a profound understanding of relationships and how to repair.
I want to thank you. I was in a breakup 3 weeks ago but I read and followed your rules and now I have my woman back. Your book gave me an understanding of a relationship. Thanks Mike
Names withheld for client confidentiality
Get a POMO
When you action my advice, you increase your odds of success in saving your relationship. How? By building what I call, a position of most opportunity. Which means you give yourself the best chance of achieving your goals, regardless of your situation.
Why Trust Me?
As @Kpaxs so eloquently tweeted:
Knowing isn’t doing.
Certificates aren’t competence.
A plan isn’t implementation.
Ideas aren’t invoices.
Revenue isn’t profit.
“No” isn’t the end.
I earned my competence through doing while working in the trenches.
A Student of Relationships?
No matter how long I spend in this field there is more to learn.
Telling people you are an expert does not differentiate you.
I have spent thousands of hours doing what I do. But that does not mean I won’t continue to spend thousands of hours doing more of it.
My friction with the word expert is that whether it is true or not (there are different ways to classify) it becomes more apparent with increased knowledge just how much more there is to learn.
Being a student keeps one grounded.
“I can’t begin to tell you the things I discovered while I was looking for something else.” Shelby Foote
Three out of the four marriages in my family have ended in divorce.
Back in 2008 I found myself researching the factors the lead to separation because of a 75% failure rate in my family.
The result of that lead to me doing what I do today.
“Another divorce! Are you kidding me?”
It blew my mind.
You know, back in my school years I’d often stand back to observe the motives of the kids around me.
I was nosey perhaps, but I felt like a scientist looking into beakers to see the results :)
When I left school this interest didn’t fade. It got worse (better?)
I would spend my free time between playing games and understanding why people do what they do.
While I got good at games, it was the grasp of human nature (and the primary drivers of human behavior) that paid off for me.
Fast forward to 2008:
Here I was, seeing yet another marriage heading for divorce, and while I usually have less interest in my own family than I do in strangers (go figure)..
I couldn’t hold back any longer. My attention suddenly shifted to the subject of human relationships…
I was already fascinated by psychology.
Maybe it was a coping mechanism?
But the thing I researched most in 2008?…
It was CHEATING.
See, infidelity had occurred in all three failed marriages.
So I got deep in research…
I wanted to know why affairs happened, the causes, the effects, and to know about the people who do it. And I did this backward, forwards, and sideways. And you know?
It revealed A LOT of interesting facts and clues about what makes you and me do what we do.
Stuff that went way beyond the cheating.
Now, it’s a long story. And you probably don’t need to hear it.
Here’s what followed this research:
- I launched an affair survival website, personally helping hundreds to cope with betrayal, and navigate the difficult decisions that lay ahead (and with those who were determined to save their marriage, I introduced them to Dr. Gunzburg, Ph.D, licensed psychologist);
- I then created a program to help with trust issues and the “mental torment” that typically follows an affair;
- Couple years later I launched another website, but this time on breakup recovery which is the site you are reading now;
- From there I got busy creating and launching a complete breakup-to-makeup program back in 2015, which currently has over a thousand members (and climbing)..
Some of this was part accident, and some were part “what if..” but it has all been rewarding.
Thanks for all of your insights and tough love, for giving it to us straight, and for offering most of your advice for free. I could have gotten through my break-up without you, but I would have been twice as miserable with half the personal growth
Who Am I?
I’m a happily married, 38-year-old guy living in the UK. My wife and I live in a small, charming town that’s a short drive from one of the best cities the UK has — Bath (it’s a beautiful city which you must visit if you ever get the chance.)
We’ve been together 18 years now, and remain the one surviving marriage in the family.
We have no children (a conscious choice we made) and instead are blessed with a loving cat and a characterful rabbit.
Those who know me personally know that I am a private kind of guy.
I value privacy and keeping myself to myself. That said, I recently started a Facebook page (which has shocked close friends…) as a way to reach more people, but exact plans for that are still being debated :-)
Privacy is rare these days. It is almost expected you’d find an array of pictures and personal information only close friends would know. But not here.
Why I Launched undoabreakup.com?
You know, this website came about as a result of watching two close friends go through a nasty breakup. Back in 2010, I think..
I recall thinking, “wow, these broken-hearted souls could actually figure this out and get back together if they wanted to…”
So I looked into that. And I was right.
But this page is already long. So all I’ll say for now is that through one thing and another.. I ended up doing what I do today. And it was a natural progression.
The knowledge I had picked up and the results got along the way just built and built.. until it made no sense not to do it.
And so here we are.
What tickles me though is that I never intended to do this full time. Seriously. I was reluctant to commit fully for a while.
I was working my day job and juggling clients and research in my spare time. But I was soon getting burnt out.
Truth is? I’ve never really known what I wanted to do in life. I would look at other people who knew “their mission” and get jealous.
Even felt that way?
So for me? I was waiting for a big bright “sign” to tell me what to do (only half-kidding.)
But what IS clear and evident to me NOW is that I’m good at this. And the people I work with get results. Simple as that. They leave me better than I found them. And that’s just as important a reason for why I am doing this as any.
And so this has become my mission now.
AND… if you’re good at something, never do it for free (as the Joker said in “The Dark Knight”.. great movie.)
What about you?
If you’re stuck not knowing what to do in life, maybe do what you’re good at. At least START there..
(Definitely don’t wait around for the big sky God to show you what to do.)
I’ll leave you with this..
You deserve the life you design. So design the life you deserve.
(You know there’s no such thing as “deserve” in this world? It’s a human made concept. Not a law. People get hung up on it though. Like justice. It’s self-made. So go create what you deserve..)
Thanks for reading.
In your corner,
Hi Michael, I wanted to thank you for your innate kindness and wisdom. While the impetus for approaching you was a breakup, to my surprise, your approach was far more holistic and caring. You showed genuine concern for all parties. A breakup is difficult and you’re not interested in quick fix tricks but helping people have a richer relationship; indeed a richer life. Your advice is practical and direct. It reflects a profound understanding of relationships and how to repair. You do not shy away from awkward questions. You’re able to inspire a way forward for a damaged relationship: that is to bring out the best in ourselves.