Hello, I’m Michael Fulmer.
I am the sole advice-giver and writer behind this website and the amazing daily letter I publish to inboxes all over the world.
When I’m not doing that, I’m personally coaching clients — and have done so for years — helping them to cope and grow strong through a difficult time in their life.
Who Am I?
I’m a happily married, 37 year old guy living in the UK. My wife and I live in a small, charming town that’s a short drive from one of the best cities the UK has — Bath (it’s a beautiful city which you must visit if you ever get the chance.)
We have no children (a conscious choice we made) and instead are blessed with a loving cat and characterful rabbit.
You should know I’m a private kind of guy —
You won’t find me on Facebook. Or even a picture on this page!
I know that’s rare these days. It is almost expected you’d find a profile picture on an “about” page. But not here.
What’s My Story?
Since my late teens, I’ve had an insatiable appetite to better understand what makes humans tick (especially myself) and to understand the nature of the world around me.
I often stand back to observe this strange world. Even if that means missing out on some of the fun.
Though honestly? I have never been comfortable with “falling into line,” and following the herd feels a bit contrived to me.
Instead, I got deeply in to knowing why people do what they do. And what drives and controls our behaviour, leading to the routines that many remain stuck in.
I have always wanted to live life on my own terms, away from societal norms (which is one reason I don’t follow the herd and post pictures and share what I had for breakfast.)
I guess my origin story might explain more “about me” —
This Is Why
OK. Back in 2008 I researched why couples break up.
Why? Because at that time, three out of the four marriages in my family had ended in divorce.
(At that time I was 2 years into our marriage and was concerned what lay ahead. Today I’m grateful to report we are still going strong. That’s 12 years into marriage, and over 20 years of uninterrupted time together. Still. Even now — ESPECIALLY now — my eyes are open to the realities and difficulties of sustaining “the couple.”)
So.. three in four marriages in my family had gone down in flames. And it blew my mind. Wow, what was going on here?
Naturally I was doing my “observation” thing, and my brain was going a hundred miles and hour processing all I could throw at it.
ASIDE: Getting divorced is not a sign you are any less of a person. I don’t have any issues with unhappy people separating! If marriage—or any plain Jane relationship—makes you miserable, and a solution isn’t there?..
No happy marriage or relationship ever ended.
But back to 2008 or so..
I was already fascinated in psychology back then. Though I probably wouldn’t use those words.
So these divorces ramped up that interest quite a bit, and got me exploring psychology in relationships.
Maybe it was a coping mechanism?
Whatever it was.. I dug deep. And mainly?.. The thing I researched most back then was..
(Hey, infidelity occurred in ALL of those failed marriages.)
So yeah. I researched infidelities. I wanted to know why they happened, the causes, the effects, to know about the people who do it.. and I did this backwards, forwards and sideways. And you know..?
It revealed A LOT of interesting facts and clues about what makes you and me do what we do.
Stuff that went way beyond the cheating!
Now it’s a long story so maybe some other day..?
But I ended up running a website back then to help women survive their husbands affair. No kidding. All based on what I’d discovered.
(And helped a ton of people along the way.)
This was part accident, part “what if..” but there you go.
So you might wonder.. how did I end up launching this website?
Well, that one came about as a result of watching two close friends go through nasty breakups. Back in 2010 I think..
This page is getting long though. All I’ll say for now is that through one thing or another.. I ended up doing what I do today. It felt like a natural progression somehow.
The knowledge I picked up and the results gotten along the way just built and built.. it just made too much sense not to do it.
And so here we are.
What tickles me though is that I never intended to do this full time. Seriously. I was reluctant to commit fully for a while.
I was working my day job and juggling clients and research in my spare time.. but I was soon getting burned out.
Truth is? I’ve never really known what I wanted to do in life.. I would look at other people who knew “their mission” and get jealous.
So me?.. I was waiting for a big bright “sign” to tell me what to do (only half-kidding.)
But what IS clear and obvious to me NOW is that I’m real good at this. The people I work with get results. Simple as that. They leave me better than I found them. And that’s just as important a reason for why I am doing this as any.
And if you’re good at something, never do it for free (as the Joker said in “The Dark Knight”.. great movie.)
What about you?
If you’re stuck not knowing what to do in life, maybe do what you’re good at.
(Definitely don’t wait around for the big sky God to show you what to do..)
I’ll leave you with this..
You deserve the life you design. So design the life you deserve.
(You know there’s no such thing as “deserve” in this world? It’s a human made concept. Not a law. People get hung up on it though. Like justice. It’s self-made. So go create what you deserve..)
Yes actually, I would like to say a few more things..
Unremarkably, I do a lot of reading. And I think you’d be mad not to. Imagine assuming that there was nothing worth knowing beyond your immediate “sources” (like your teachers, peers, people “of authority,” the news.. the media.)
If you want to know if someone is serious about something, look at their bookshelf. If you don’t find any material, you can question their interest.
I do a lot of writing.
Writing for fun, for an audience, for.. kicks. It is all good.
Clearly one output for said writing is this very website you are on today..
Oh, and let me just say that without a doubt, your reason for being here is far from ideal. And I get that. So I appreciate you stopping by.
On this website I write exclusively for the suddenly-single, or those on the verge of a breakup. That is.. I offer advice for dealing with a breakup, on preparation, recovery, and the steps for saving the relationship.
But you should know..
Most of what I write isn’t publicly viewable!
I prefer, and always have done, to write and communicate through email. So I write a daily “letter” which you can receive freely direct to your inbox.
Hey, I prefer “my voice” when delivered through the medium of email. No idea why.
Oh, and email subscribers also get access to some hidden content here on the website as a thank you for letting me into their email inbox.
How I Help
A few ways, actually.
If you find yourself suddenly-single and want help, there’s a good chance your visit here alone will assist.
There are a number of articles on this website you can start with today.
For example, if you’re not sure whether to fight for your ex, or to let it go.. then jump here and let me help you with that.
To see ALL the articles that are available to you, go and check out the breakup know-how page. It’s the “index” of the site.
If you want something more than that, become an email subscriber so you can receive my daily emails.
Inside each you’ll find a tip to help you in this difficult time.
Plus I share additional content not available to the public (I give you links to this extra content inside the emails.)
This doesn’t cost you a penny.
What has value has worth..
So I offer a very comprehensive solution — a full breakup to make-up (and beyond) program — that is entirely of my own creation. So you won’t have seen it already.
Email subscribers are invited to check it out right after signing up.
I provide 1-2-1 email support and coaching directly with myself. For the serious.
Check out my Emergency Email Response if you have a specific, or narrow set of questions, which you’d like me to fully address in double-quick time.
Check out Email Coaching if you’d like me to help you daily move toward your goal (surviving the breakup, and / or help you get your ex back) over a 30 day period.
Think that’s about it?
Thanks for stopping by.
My best wishes to you,