The Ex Back Playbook

March 2025  — 
 blog

Breakups hurt. You're in pain. I get it. I'll tell you how to get your ex back. It's simpler than you think.

Why This Playbook Works

Getting your ex back is about clarity and strategy. The main technique is keeping things straightforward. A good plan in six steps will work better than a complex strategy with a hundred. Don't overcomplicate it.

Beware of bad breakup advice. It's often nonsense or cruel. Some people:

  • Underestimate your pain
    • Forget how breakups feel
      • Profit from your misery

        Be careful of “get your ex back” schemes. They're often scams.

        Your Mindset Matters

        Your thoughts shape your actions. Take deliberate action. Don't leave it to chance. Nothing's guaranteed. Beware of promises.

        We have little control in life. But little isn't none. You can influence outcomes. Be smart about it.

        The Simple Six-Step Playbook

        Here are the key steps so you don't waste months figuring it out yourself:

        1. Give them space
          1. Heal and improve yourself
            1. Check your options
              1. Make progressive contact
                1. Express your intentions
                  1. Build a new relationship

                    Let's break it down:

                    1. Give Them Space

                    Give them space means stop all contact. It's that simple. Don't call, text, or stalk their social media. It's counterintuitive but effective. That's the key.

                    2. Heal and Improve Yourself

                    Heal and improve yourself is about focusing on you. Hit the gym, learn a new skill, spend time with friends. Be a better version of yourself. Get obsessed with how to heal, not with what your ex is up to.

                    3. Check Your Options

                    Check your options means honestly evaluating if getting back together is smart. Not all exes should reunite. Ask yourself:

                    • Is your relationship worth saving?
                      • Did you both add value to each other?
                        • Can you fix what broke you up?

                          4. Make Progressive Contact

                          Make progressive contact means starting small. A text is less pushy than a call. Build up slowly.

                          5. Express Your Intentions

                          Express your intentions clearly. When the time is right, tell them what you want. No games.

                          6. Build a New Relationship

                          Build a new relationship means starting fresh. Don't replay the old relationship. Create something better.

                          Be Attractive and Confident

                          Humans share common traits. We're wired similarly. Desperation repels. Confidence attracts.

                          Your ex fell for your strengths. Show them again. Fight your urge to fall apart. Regain your power.

                          Thought Management

                          Your mind can be cruel. It imagines the worst. Learn to manage negative thoughts.

                          Conversely, use space to your advantage. Let your ex's mind wonder about you. Appear happy and positive when they see you. But, be careful. Don't overdo it.

                          Remember This

                          Your ex must choose to return. Force never works. We defend our own choices. Not others' choices for us.

                          You can help guide their decision. But it must be theirs.

                          That's it. You just learned the basics of getting your ex back. Now use it. Remember, nothing is guaranteed. But this simple approach beats leaving things to chance.

                          Don't sit around doing nothing. Take control. Be deliberate about your actions. You have more influence than you think.

                          If you want your ex back, follow this playbook. It's simple, clear, and effective. Now go make it happen.

                          Frequently Asked Questions

                          Can I really get my ex back?

                          While every situation is unique, many couples do successfully reunite after a breakup. The key is approaching the situation with the right mindset and strategies.

                          How long does the process take?

                          The timeline varies depending on your specific circumstances. Some see results in weeks, while others may take months. The important thing is to focus on personal growth throughout the process.

                          Psst: Don't Make Another Move Until After You Use This Free Tool

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                                By Michael Fulmer: Breakup expert with 14 years experience. Trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level 1 & 2). Thousands helped worldwide. Created Breakup Dojo — now 1,000+ members strong. My products sell. My advice works. Psychology obsessed. It shows in my work! 10,000+ read my “Ex-Communication” newsletter. Need breakup help? I’m your guy.