How to Get Your Husband Back
Lost your "Mr. Right"? Don't give up. Your husband leaving doesn't mean he won't return. Here's how to win him back:
Quick Tips
- Remember your value. Save your marriage, but not at the cost of your health.
- Get a plan. Follow it now. Taking action gives you control.
- You have a chance. Nobody knows the odds, but possibilities exist.
- Be selective about advice. Even good people give bad counsel if they lack expertise.
Be Kind to Yourself
Breakups hurt. Your emotions may cloud your judgment. Be careful with advice you find online. Some want to profit from your pain.
I'm writing this to help you. No words can fully describe your pain, and I'm sorry you're hurting.
Control Your Emotions
It's normal to act rashly after a breakup. Don't let negative emotions take charge. Avoid looking needy or desperate. Don't become a “text terrorist” or social media spy.
Wanting your husband back is normal. Your approach matters most. The wrong move could push him into a rebound relationship.
Evaluate Your Relationship
Be rational. Are you truly compatible? Could you be? Answer this to either:
- Feel more sure about getting him back, or
- Realize moving on is better.
Many couples reunite. Not all should. Whatever happens, you'll get through this. I promise.
Examine Your Relationship's Value
Before trying to win him back, ask:
- Did you have something worth saving?
- Did you add value to each other's lives?
- Can you resolve the issues that led to the breakup?
People rarely change. If you hoped he would, rethink your strategy.
Take Deliberate Action
Your mindset matters. What you think determines what you do. Don't leave this to chance. Take control with a strategy.
Nothing is guaranteed. Beware of anyone promising specific outcomes. But having little control isn't the same as having no control.
Let Him Choose Freely
His decision to return must be his own. We invest most in choices we make ourselves. You can help him reach that decision, but it must feel like his choice.
Be Wary of Well-Meaning Advice
Good intentions don't equal good advice. Friends and family mean well, but most lack training in relationship recovery. Be cautious of self-serving suggestions.
Steps to Reunite Naturally
- Take a strategic break
- Work on yourself during this time
- Reach out after enough time (don't try to reunite yet)
- Navigate the fragile reconciliation phase
- Build a new, stronger relationship
Understand Human Nature
Weak, needy people are unattractive. It's human nature to find desperation repulsive. Your husband fell for your positive qualities initially. Don't lose those now.
Manage Your Mind
Your mind can be your worst enemy after a breakup. Learn to cope with negative thoughts. Give your husband space, and let his mind wonder about you. Present a happy, outgoing image if he gets any feedback.
Final Thoughts
Not all relationships can or should be saved. If that's your case, seek help to move on. There's no shame in that.
If you have a chance to save something worthwhile, it's time to act. Follow these steps and give your relationship its best shot at recovery.
Still love your ex? Get smart before you act.
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By Michael Fulmer: Breakup expert with 14 years experience. Trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level 1 & 2). Thousands helped worldwide. Created Breakup Dojo — now 1,000+ members strong, and UNFAZED (new release.) My products sell. My advice works. Psychology obsessed. It shows in my work! 10,000+ read my “Ex-Communication” newsletter. Need breakup help? I’m your guy.