Calculate Your No Contact Timeline: Free Tool

“A simple no contact calculator for pretty much everyone navigating a breakup.”

Find out how much time to give your ex, in less than 20 seconds.

Note: This is a simple calculator for quick purposes.

How Long Should No Contact Last?

The no contact rule usually lasts between 1-4+ weeks. Sometimes just a few days. Although do note I speak from the perspective of repairing breakups. If you are moving on from the relationship, you might never contact your ex again.

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Still, if you're looking to reunite, you just want a small break.

Not half a day…

But what about a week, or 10 days?

Yeah, maybe that's enough.

Or maybe not.

Because it depends on your situation. As there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer (despite what some claim.)

What I can tell you is this —

To get closer to the right answer, you'll want to take into account:

Those two get you to a better position to determine a reasonable no contact duration.

The Stage of Your Relationship?

Relationships go through predictable stages of development (honeymoon, stabilising, long term etc.)

Generally, the later the stage of your relationship, the more space you'll want to give. But that's a rough rule.

Here's how it breaks down:

Early dating (0-3 months): 3-7 days. You barely know each other. Long gaps feel permanent.

Honeymoon phase (3-6 months): 7-14 days. Emotions run hot. Let them cool.

Stabilising (6-18 months): 14-21 days. You've seen each other's flaws. Time helps memory soften.

Long-term (18+ months): 21-28 days. Deep history. More time needed to process.

Then there's the level of drama in the breakup itself. The big “reason-why” and how intense the fall-out was.

HOW this 2nd part affects your “no contact duration” is harder to explain.

See, you'll want to increase the gap the more intense your breakup was. However…

It's not that simple. Because the duration can go UP if there's too little drama!

Yes, you can have “not enough” drama.

If it was a mild breakup? That warrants MORE time. Because as the level of drama drops below a certain point, the level of emotions involved drops with it.

And that's a bad sign. So you must increase the duration to compensate.

Makes your head spin, right?

Now, you may notice how some people tell you to do 30 days no contact even though they don't know your situation?

Almost everybody I know gives the 30 day rule. (or 21.)

Odd?

I thought so.

But after I looked at what was involved in giving people an accurate answer, I got it. I understood why.

It's EASIER to tell people to take a 30 day break. The danger of waiting too long is smaller than the danger of not waiting long enough.

While 30 days will be overkill for many, it's a safe (ish) answer.

But listen…

You don't have to accept that if you don't want to.

That's why I made this no contact calculator!

The free one above? You're welcome.

😉

What to Do During No Contact

No contact isn't about sitting around counting days.

It's about healing and making yourself stronger so you are ready for what follows.

Here's what that means:

Focus on you. Hit the gym. Learn something new. Reconnect with friends. Do the things that make you feel like yourself again.

Avoid the big mistakes. Don't drunk text. Don't stalk their social media. Don't show up at places they go.

Get your head right. Your thoughts will spiral. You'll obsess. You'll imagine worst-case scenarios.

That's normal.

But you need tools to handle it.

And here's the truth:

Your ex doesn't want the same person they left.

They want someone different.

So use this time to become someone different.

What Happens After No Contact?

The calculator gave you a timeline.

Great.

But what do you actually DO when the time is up?

You reopen contact!

Carefully.

Not with some long emotional letter.

Not with "I miss you" or "Can we talk?"

You start light. Casual. Non-threatening.

For example, look at what to text after no contact for an idea of what light and casual looks like.

The goal?

Start a conversation. Not a confrontation.

Build curiosity. Not pressure.

Let them wonder what changed about you.

Common No Contact Questions

What if they contact me during no contact?

This throws people off.

You're trying to stay strong. Give them space.

Then they text.

What now?

Simple: respond lightly, acknowledge them. But don't chase.

Keep it brief, friendly, and non-committal.

Don't ignore them completely. That looks petty.

But don't pour your heart out either.

Match their energy. Then let it go quiet again.

Can I date during no contact?

Yes, but there are caveats to dating during no contact you should know upfront.

Some say you should.

Not to make your ex jealous. That's game-playing nonsense.

But to remind yourself you have options.

That you're not sitting around waiting.

But. It can complicate matters. And I genuinely advise against it.

What if we have kids?

This one's tricky.

You can't just disappear when you share custody.

So adjust the no contact strategy when you co-parent accordingly.

Keep interactions strictly about the kids. Polite. Brief. Businesslike.

No personal stuff. No relationship talk.

Is no contact manipulation?

If you are doing it out of spite or to "get one over" on your ex, then yes. But that's a problem of intent more than the merits of taking a break.

Some people worry about this. But those people are not being manipulative, otherwise they wouldn't worry.

So, "am I playing games?"

Not if you don't want to play games.

Look, taking a break isn't a game when you're doing it for the right reasons, like giving both of you space to think clearly.

It's healthy. Not manipulative.

What if they moved on?

This is the fear that keeps you up at night.

"What if they meet someone else during no contact?"

Listen.

If they move on that fast, either the relationship wasn't solid to begin with, or they're desperate to avoid the pain of being apart.

Chasing them won't change that.

In fact, it makes it worse.

But if you're dealing with this scenario now:

Check out when he's moved on or when she's moved on.

Your Complete No Contact Plan

The calculator gives you a timeline.

But a timeline isn't a plan.

You need to know:

Scroll down and try my Free Tool which gives situation-specific directions. No email required. It'll point you in the right direction.

This one: