You’re scrolling through your ex’s Instagram again. Stop it. You’re in the “ex obsession zone,” and it’s time to break free.
The “ex obsession zone” is a state where your ex dominates your thoughts and actions. You might find yourself:
- Endlessly scrolling through their social media
- Replaying memories on loop
- Talking about them constantly to friends
- Trying to rekindle the relationship unsuccessfully
It’s unhealthy, and it’s holding you back. Here’s how to escape:
1. Acknowledge Feelings, Don’t Feed Them
It’s okay to feel upset after a breakup. It’s normal. But there’s a difference between acknowledging your feelings and feeding them.
When negative thoughts come, try this: Say “Thank you for sharing” out loud or in your head. Then, consciously shift your focus to something else. This technique interrupts the thought pattern and helps you regain control.
2. Challenge Your Inner Critic
Your inner critic is that voice that loves to focus on your insecurities. It might say things like:
- “I’ll never find someone as good”
- “I can’t live without them”
- “I’ll always be alone”
Don’t believe these lies. Challenge these thoughts. Replace them with more realistic ones like, “I lived before them, and I’ll live after them.”
3. Replace Obsession with Mission
Give your mind something better to do. Find a new focus that excites you:
- Learn a language or musical instrument
- Start a business
- Travel to new places
- Pursue a hobby you’ve always wanted to try
Focusing on self-improvement can powerfully redirect your energy and thoughts.
4. Choose Consciously
Every time you feel pulled towards old habits, make a conscious choice. The easy route (texting your ex, stalking their social media) is usually an unconscious choice.
Conscious choices are decisions your future self will thank you for. When you feel the urge to reach out to your ex, pause and choose a healthier action instead.
5. Be Patient with Yourself
Healing takes time, and it’s different for everyone. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not “over it” as quickly as you’d like.
Remember, progress isn’t always linear. You might have setbacks, and that’s okay. Each day, you’re building strength and resilience.
6. Get Help if You Need It
If you’re struggling, it’s okay to seek support. Talk to a friend who understands or consider professional help. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Remember, you lived before them, and you’ll live after them. This pain is temporary, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You’re stronger than you think, and you will get through this.
Now, take a deep breath. Close that social media app. And go live your best life – one conscious choice at a time.
