Financial Conflicts: Building Money Harmony

April 2025

Money is often cited as a leading cause of relationship stress. Learning to manage finances together can strengthen your bond.

  • Differing spending habits
    • Unequal incomes or financial contributions
      • Secret spending or hidden debt
        • Disagreements on financial goals
          • Power imbalances due to money

            How Financial Conflicts Affect Relationships

            • Create ongoing tension and arguments
              • Erode trust if finances aren’t transparent
                • Lead to feelings of resentment or inequality
                  • Cause stress that impacts other areas of the relationship
                    • Can symbolise deeper issues of control or values

                      Gottman’s Perspective on Financial Harmony

                      Dr. Gottman’s research emphasises that financial conflicts are often not about money itself, but about the meaning of money. Key principles include:

                      1. Understand each other’s money history and values
                        1. Create shared financial goals
                          1. Establish transparent money management systems
                            1. Regular financial check-ins

                              Techniques and Exercises

                              • Money History Exploration:
                                • Financial Goals Workshop:
                                  • Budget Date Night:
                                    • Values and Symbols Exercise:

                                      When to Seek Professional Help

                                      Consider therapy if:

                                      • Money arguments are frequent or intense
                                        • You can’t agree on basic financial management
                                          • There’s a lack of financial transparency
                                            • Financial issues are impacting other areas of your relationship

                                              Achieve Financial Harmony

                                              With the right approach, money can bring you closer rather than drive you apart. I can guide you toward financial teamwork.