do what i say to undo your breakup 👇

i’m michael fulmer, a full time 12-years running breakup recovery expert and coach. if you find yourself single when you don’t want to be, you are in the right place. i’ve been showing men and women how to undo a breakup since 2011. so i know what works. in fact, caveats aside, i’ll give you the big picture of what works right now:

  1. don’t be an idiot
  2. get your shit together (stand up straight, don’t be weird, prepare for a process not an event)
  3. “unfaze-ify” yourself (kill neediness)
  4. be cool when you make contact

sound good?

i’ll expand a bit for you —

don’t be an idiot

getting dumped makes people do unpersuasive things. desperate things. things that weaken a man or woman’s value.

do your best to not do those things and you’ll not sabotage yourself.

tip: if you need to, stay away from your ex for a while until you have better control.

not being an idiot means you’ll not worsen your chances.

and that’s a start.

get your shit together

get better, not bitter. this is not a cryptic message. it’s pretty obvious that getting a handle on things will be better for you than letting things spiral out of control.

life goes on and you have stuff to do. so do it.

unfaze-ify yourself

the less you need something, the more sane you’ll be. the more sane you are, the more attractive you are. the more attractive you are, the more desirable you’ll be. obviously. so the job here is to work at being a little less fazed by what happened. and then work on being a little less than that. and so on.

basically, you need to de-escalate your “my ex is my world” false beliefs.

challenge them.

daily.

constantly.

be cool when you make contact

whenever you chat with your ex, be cool. it’s just better that way. better than being serious. better than being defensive. than talking about what went wrong.

being easy to deal with will go far.

yeah, there are caveats and other angles to consider. this is life. it’s nuanced. but we can avoid a lot of trapdoors by being cool and keeping the pressure low in our interactions.

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My girlfriend and I broke up last week. I followed your instructions and we are back together — Erick Nelson

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About the author: i’m a relationship coach specialising in breakup recovery. i’ve been doing this for 12+ years helping thousands worldwide. i created the Breakup Dojo, a popular program with over 1,000 members. i’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. i also publish the “ex-communication” newsletter that’s packed with actionable advice to over 10,000 subscribers worldwide.