What to Text After No Contact

You did it. You stayed quiet and left your ex alone. Now what?

You know texting is next. But what do you say?

Here are four rules to guide you:

1. Use “The Feel-Good Factor”

Your first text should make your ex feel good. This means:

Keep it light and positive. A feel-good message is more likely to get a good response.

2. Skip the Templates

Don’t copy texts from the internet. Your ex will notice, and it shows a lack of thought.

Instead, write something:

Make it relevant to your ex and your shared experiences. This shows you’ve put thought into reconnecting.

3. Gather Data, Don’t Reunite (Yet)

Use texts to collect information:

Don’t ask to get back together. It’s too soon, and you need to understand their current feelings first.

Take things slowly. This helps avoid triggering new conflicts and gives you time to assess the situation.

4. Have Fun

Relax and enjoy texting your ex. Good feelings help renew relationships.

Fun, positive exchanges can improve your position if you later want to discuss getting back together.

The “Elephant in the Room” Text

If your breakup involved a serious issue (like cheating), address it before anything else.

This is the “elephant in the room” – the big issue your ex is already thinking about.

Consider a handwritten letter for this topic. Keep texts light and positive. A letter allows you to:

Remember

Every text should make your ex feel good. Don’t trigger negative emotions.

Use texts to learn your ex’s current mood and feelings. Stay upbeat and keep things light.

Be patient and take your time. Rushing can undo your progress.

Do this, and you’ll send great first—and last—texts to your ex, setting the stage for whatever comes next.