10 Ways to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Jealous (to Attract Her Back)

If you’re looking for some creative ways to make your ex-girlfriend jealous, then this blog post is just what you need. Below I share ten different ways to get her attention, trigger jealousy, and make her feel attracted to you again.

A couple of things before we dig in:

First: There is a psychology concept called “preselection,” which states that people are more attracted to potential mates who other people find desirable. The tips below leverage this fact. If you want your ex-girlfriend to feel jealous, tap into the power of preselection.

Second: These tips can get her interested in you even when she has lost her interest or moved on. Yes, she can still feel jealous and care about what you are up to, even if she swore the opposite.

Handy, eh?

Here Are the Top Ten Ways to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Jealous

  1. Compliment other girls in front of her and on social media
  2. Take your time when replying to her messages
  3. Only communicate during weekdays and the daytime
  4. Trigger positive feelings, flirt, and then disappear
  5. Get in better shape, sharpen your image, and update all of your profile avatars
  6. Be happy and see the good in everything
  7. Enjoy the company of other women
  8. Visit exciting places and post photos to social media
  9. Set your social media to public and make conversation with other girls
  10. Send a text to her that was meant for another girl “by mistake.”

Let’s expand ↓

Compliment Other Girls in Front of Her and on Social Media

If you want to make your ex-girlfriend jealous, then compliment other girls in front of her and on social media. Giving other women attention will remind her she is not the only girl out there.

A jealous ex-girlfriend checking her phone

She will pay attention to you paying other girls attention!

Even though your ex is your ex, she would still prefer you didn’t give attention to other women. Yes, even if she dumped you and said it was over for good. Even if she is confident that breaking up was for the best, it will still feel odd or uncomfortable to see you notice other women.

Take Your Time When Replying to Her Messages

When you reply to messages, be sure to take your time. If she texts and you text back right away, it can look desperate. The last thing you want to do is appear keen. Instead, you want her to believe you are distracted and wonder if you have lost interest in her.

A girl sat waiting for a response

Keep your ex-girlfriend waiting a little while before replying.

Imagine if your ex-girlfriend thinks you have nothing interesting going on, and that getting your attention would be easy. That wouldn’t be good, right? Exactly. In this scenario, you have no power. The point is, if you make it too easy for her or make yourself too available, she’ll not value you.

This is a balancing act –you want to be receptive enough to avoid the “jerk” label, but not so keen that you appear needy. Not so slow that your ex thinks you are playing games, or so quick that she thinks you have nothing else going on.

So, you want to appear aloof enough to give the impression you could have another girl in your life, while still being responsive.

Only Communicate During Weekdays and the Daytime

Building on the last tip, you can increase your perceived social value by minimising or eliminating contact during the weekend and weekday evenings. Why? Because the weekend is your prime time and the weekday evenings are date nights.

A woman looking out the window

If you are silent during the evenings and weekend, your ex-girlfriend will infer you are busy. And it will not take much of a leap to wonder if that means you are “dating other women.”

Trigger Positive Feelings, Flirt, and Then Disappear

Trigger a burst of positive emotions in your ex by saying some nice words and complimenting them. You could even flirt. Then, once you have created some anticipation for more, retreat and disappear without further contact for some time (a week or so.)

For example: “I loved seeing you last night. You looked really beautiful.”

Or, “You look great in that photo you shared on Facebook. Reminded me why I fell for you in the first place.”

Your ex-girlfriend looking out the window, unsure what is happening

Give her a sense of anticipation and the feeling of being wanted, and then go cold and give no feedback on what you are doing or thinking.

After a week or so, use one of the other tips on this page, so she receives mixed messages (e.g., compliment a friend of hers.)

Get in Better Shape, Sharpen Your Image, and Update All of Your Profile Avatars

There’s a reason why men who are in excellent shape get more dates than those that aren’t. It’s because a good physique —and frankly a good dress sense— are rarer today than in the past. You will even stand out and be more attractive to women from good grooming alone.

A man in the gym standing in front of the mirror

Work on the man in the mirror.

Workout and lift. The energy you spend here will come back to you in spades. It’s no secret that women find men attractive when they take care of their body.

And, in the age of online dating, your profile photos play a huge role in how you come across to other people. You may not be able to change your height or eye colour, but there are plenty of ways for you to give off better vibes with a simple makeover on your social media profiles.

Besides, when you look good, you feel good. And women will be more likely to engage with you (thus furthering your goal to make your ex jealous.)

Be Happy and See the Good in Everything

Don’t dwell on the past and what might have been. If you’re happy, your ex-girlfriend will be jealous because she won’t feel like you need her anymore or want to spend time with her.

Also, happy people are more desirable by default. If you look for the good in everything and have an upbeat attitude, she and her friends will notice.

If you apply the other tips with this one, you get a great combo (happy and slow-to-reply, happy and chatting with other girls, etc.)

Enjoy the Company of Other Women

Showing how happy and relaxed you are in the company of other women is a fantastic way to make your ex-girlfriend mad with envy. If you’re always chatting with other girls, she’ll feel neglected and doubt whether or not you still have feelings for her.

Group of women enjoying a party together

Get out and have fun with other women.

Note: You do not have to date other women or get intimate here. You are merely enjoying the company of other girls. Socialising this way is good for you and good for triggering jealousy in your ex.

Visit Exciting Places and Post Photos to Social Media

Visit places you’ve never been before and post photos of yourself at these locations on social media. Your ex-girlfriend may become jealous that she couldn’t go with you because of the breakup.

A girl having her photo taken, with her hand playfully covering her face

Get out to new places and take photos and share them online.

If you can also get photos of yourself with other people —especially women— this tip will be even more effective. It helps if you can show your ex-girlfriend you are not alone.

You may also want to try out some tourist attractions and landmarks in the area where she lives or used to live. This is an excellent way to get her to think about you and her in the same frame (to show her you are having fun while helping her associate with you by doing it where she calls home.)

Set Your Social Media to Public and Make Conversation with Other Girls

Seek out and find new girls to add to your social media profiles. Chat to girls in your area, comment on their posts, be friendly and playful (though keep it cool.)

Jealous ex-girlfriend upset and looking in the distance

Make sure your profiles use the least privacy setting available. You want non-follower to see what you are up to. That way, if your ex is not following you, they can still check out what you are doing.

It is almost a guarantee your ex-girlfriend will spy on your activities, sooner or later. You might as well give her something to get jealous about.

Send a Text to Her That Was Meant for Another Girl “By Mistake”

Receiving a message meant for another girl is an effective way to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. However, it is also one of the most risky moves you can make. I recommend you only do this as a last resort. All you need to do is send her a text message intended for another girl (real or otherwise,) so it looks like an accident.

Your girlfriend receiving your message that was meant to go to another girl

Warning: Do not send dirty text messages or anything crass. Keep it simple and innocuous. E.g., “I left my hat at yours, bring it over later? X Cheers!”

In Conclusion:

In conclusion, the goal here should be clear: to make your ex-girlfriend jealous by framing your life as exciting and full of potential women you could be dating.

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About the author: I’m a relationship coach with a focus on breakup recovery. I’ve been doing this for 13 years, helping thousands of people worldwide. I created the Breakup Dojo, a popular resource with over 1,000 members. I’ve authored several in-demand breakup recovery products, drawing from my deep fascination with psychology. I also publish the “Ex-Communication” newsletter, providing over 10,000 subscribers worldwide with actionable advice.