Ex Blocked You? Here's The Deal

Breakups hurt. You want to talk. Your ex blocks you. Now what?

First 48 Hours After Being Blocked

Don't panic.

Being blocked feels like a slap in the face. It stings. It makes you feel powerless.

But it's not the end of the world.

Here's what NOT to do in the first 48 hours:

Don't create new accounts to message them. This looks desperate. And creepy. It proves their point about needing distance.

Don't show up at their place. Seriously. Don't do this. It never ends well.

Don't ask friends to message them for you. Not yet. Give it time first.

Don't spiral into obsession. You'll drive yourself crazy analyzing why they blocked you.

Instead:

Take a breath. Accept that you can't control this. Focus on what you CAN control—your own behavior.

And then start no contact. Even if they blocked you.

Especially if they blocked you.

Use the no contact calculator to figure out your timeline. Then stick to it.

Why Did Your Ex Block You?

Your ex doesn't want to talk. They're hurting. Or punishing you. Maybe you messed up. Blocking protects them from perceived harassment or stalking.

Some exes block to hide old relationships from new partners. It's about their comfort, not yours.

Spite drives some exes. They block for revenge. It's childish but common.

Want to understand the specific meaning behind it? Read: What does it mean when your ex blocks you?

But honestly?

The "why" matters less than you think.

What matters is: What do you do now?

Platform-Specific Blocking: What It Means

Not all blocking is equal.

Here's how to read the situation:

Phone Number Only

They blocked your number but not social media.

What this means: They don't want texts or calls. But they're okay with casual social media presence. Or they want to keep tabs on you.

Your move: Respect the phone block. Don't reach out via social media immediately. Wait at least 2-3 weeks.

Social Media Only

They blocked you on Instagram, Facebook, etc. But your number still works.

What this means: They don't want to see your posts. Or they're hiding you from someone new.

Your move: Don't text them just because you can. If they wanted phone contact, they wouldn't have blocked social media. Wait.

Everything

Phone, social media, email. Complete blackout.

What this means: They're serious about space. Or they're extremely hurt/angry.

Your move: You need alternative contact methods. More on this below.

WhatsApp But Not Phone

They blocked you on WhatsApp but your regular texts go through.

What this means: They use WhatsApp for their new relationship. They're hiding you.

Your move: Don't use regular texts to get around the WhatsApp block. It looks sneaky. Wait it out.

What NOT to Do When You're Blocked

Let's be crystal clear about the mistakes people make:

Don't create fake accounts.

People do this. "I'll just make a new Instagram and message them."

Terrible idea.

It's stalker behavior. It destroys any remaining respect they had for you.

Don't show up unannounced.

"I'll just drop by their work/home and talk in person."

No.

This is how restraining orders happen.

Don't use friends as flying monkeys.

"Can you ask them why they blocked me?"

You're putting friends in an awkward position. And your ex will know you put them up to it.

Don't post cryptic social media messages.

"Some people can't handle real conversations lol"

Everyone knows who you're talking about. It looks bitter.

Don't keep checking if you're still blocked.

You are. Checking daily won't change it. It just keeps you stuck.

When to Reach Out

Wait. They might unblock you. Give them space, especially if they're punishing you or have a new partner.

Timeframe matters:

• Broke up yesterday? Don't try to talk now. It's pointless.
• A few weeks later? You have options, but tread carefully.

If it's too soon, focus on yourself. Follow the no contact rule. Revisit in a few weeks.

Here's the timeline:

Week 1: Do nothing. Process your own emotions. See: Immediate steps after a breakup.

Week 2-3: Still blocked? Start thinking about how you'll reach out. But don't reach out yet.

Week 4+: If you're still blocked, you can consider alternative contact methods.

But before you do anything, ask yourself:

• Have I actually changed?
• Am I emotionally stable enough for this?
• Can I handle being rejected again?

If the answer to any of these is "no," wait longer.

Methods to Contact a Blocking Ex

Weeks later, still blocked? Two options:

1. Apologize if you hurt them. Send a letter or postcard.
2. Already apologized? Find another way to contact them. Email, mutual friends, or family.

Let's break down each method:

Handwritten Letter

Pros: Shows effort. Can't be ignored as easily as digital messages. Feels more sincere.

Cons: Takes time to arrive. They might throw it away unread.

When to use: When you need to apologize seriously. When digital feels too casual.

What to include: Keep it short. One page max. Focus on accountability, not excuses.

Email

Pros: Gets to them directly. Easier than a letter. Less pressure than text.

Cons: Might go to spam. Easy to ignore.

When to use: When you need to say something substantial but don't want the commitment of a letter.

Mutual Friends

Pros: Can gauge if your ex is open to contact.

Cons: Puts friends in an awkward spot. Your ex might resent it.

When to use: Only if the friend volunteers information. Don't ask them to carry messages.

Through Family

Pros: Sometimes family can smooth things over.

Cons: Messy. Involves other people in your relationship drama.

When to use: Rarely. Only if you have a genuine reason to contact family (shared property, etc.).

Best method?

Email or letter. Direct but respectful.

Avoid using people as messengers unless absolutely necessary.

What to Say

Match their mood. Angry ex? Use humor and self-deprecation. Hurt ex? Apologize sincerely.

Before you write anything, answer these questions:

1. Why did they block you?
2. What's your goal with this message?
3. Can you handle them not responding?

If you don't know the answers, don't message yet.

Example for an angry ex:

Hey stranger. Remember me? The appalling human with no redeeming features. Well, I did a good impression of one... 😬 Sorry about that. How's the guitar playing? Found this hidden music shop you'd love, by the way.

Why this works: Self-deprecating without being pathetic. Acknowledges the problem without dwelling on it. Ends with something about them, not you.

Avoid:

"Hey stranger. You are right—I am an appalling human being with no redeeming features."

Too heavy. Too self-pitying.

Example for a hurt ex:

I know I messed up. You blocking me was fair. I'm not here to make excuses or ask for anything. Just wanted you to know I'm sorry for [specific thing]. You deserved better than that. Hope you're doing okay.

Why this works: Takes responsibility. Doesn't ask for anything. Shows you understand their pain.

The key rule:

Don't push for reunion. Match their reply if they respond. Gradual reconnection is key.

More on this: What to text after no contact.

Dealing with Social Media Silence

Social media platforms amplify the pain of being blocked. Don't obsess. Focus on real-life connections instead.

Rebound relationships often trigger social media blocking. Give it time. These rarely last.

What to do about your own social media:

Don't post about being blocked. Looks desperate.

Don't post "glow-up" content for them. They're not seeing it anyway. And if they are (via friends), it looks performative.

Do post normally. Keep living your life. Not for them. For you.

Do focus on real-world improvement. The gym. Your career. Your friendships.

Being blocked is actually a gift in disguise.

It forces you to stop checking their profile. Stop analyzing their posts. Stop living in digital limbo.

Use it. See: How to heal after a breakup.

How to Cope Emotionally With Being Blocked

Let's be real.

Being blocked hurts.

It feels like rejection on steroids.

You can't see their life. You can't reach them. You feel cut off.

Here's how to handle it:

1. Feel it.

Don't suppress the pain. You're allowed to be upset.

Cry if you need to. Rage to a friend. Journal about it.

But don't act on it.

2. Reframe it.

Being blocked isn't punishment. It's protection.

They're protecting themselves. You're protecting yourself by not being able to stalk them.

It's actually healthy.

3. Use the space.

You can't contact them. Good.

That means you have to focus on yourself.

See: Break free from obsession.

4. Remember: Blocking isn't permanent.

People unblock. All the time.

Sometimes after a few days. Sometimes after a few months.

It doesn't mean forever.

Breaking the Ice If They Unblock You

Ice-breaking is crucial when contact resumes. Keep it light. Ask about a shared interest. Avoid heavy topics.

If they unblock you, don't immediately jump on it.

Wait a few days. Let them settle into the decision.

Then send something casual.

"Hey, hope you've been good."

That's it.

Don't reference the blocking. Don't ask why they unblocked you.

Just be normal.

More on this: How to text your ex back.

Common Questions

Should I apologize for whatever made them block me?

Yes. If you did something wrong.

But only once. Don't grovel. Don't over-apologize.

One sincere apology. Then move on.

What if they blocked me for no reason?

There's always a reason.

You might not think it's valid. But to them, it is.

Don't dismiss their feelings.

How long should I wait before trying to contact them?

Minimum 3-4 weeks.

Longer if the breakup was bad.

Use the no contact calculator to figure it out.

What if I can't find any way to contact them?

Then you wait.

Eventually, something will come up. A birthday. A mutual event. A reason to reach out.

Or they'll unblock you.

Patience is key.

Is being blocked a bad sign for getting back together?

Not necessarily.

Blocking often happens in the heat of emotion.

Time changes things.

See: Signs your ex will come back.

Should I use a friend's phone to text them?

No.

That's the same as creating a fake account. It's sneaky.

Don't do it.

Bottom Line

Hurt ex? Respect their space. Apologize if needed.

Angry ex? No big deal. Focus on yourself. Try again later.

There's always a way to reach out. Choose wisely: email, postcard, mutual friends. Tailor your message to why they blocked you. Use humor to protect your pride.

Remember, patience is crucial. Give them time to heal, and use that time to work on yourself.

Blocking all communication channels is extreme. It shows reluctance to talk. Respect it. They'll reach out when ready.

Your Next Steps

Being blocked doesn't mean it's over.

It means you need a plan.

Here's yours:

1. Complete no contact. Even if you're blocked. Use the Ex Back Plan to guide you.

2. Work on yourself. See: Rebuild yourself.

3. After 3-4 weeks, decide: Send a letter/email? Or wait longer?

4. If you need more help: My UNFAZED program walks you through this day-by-day. Or consider one-on-one coaching.

Being blocked sucks.

But it's not the end.

Use this time wisely. And when you're ready, you'll know what to do.