These tell-tale signs hint your ex is not yet over you.
You know the expression “playing it cool”?! Well, that’s exactly what your ex might be doing in order to pretend to be over you.
You bump into them? They casually greet you. Send them a text? You eventually get a short reply (if they bother to reply at all! And you know they read your message!!)
Little things in and of themselves but still, when you know they’re just part of some act, it’s tough. You know they’re just pretending to be over you but how do you know for sure?
Here are 7 signs your ex is pretending to be over you:
- They are overly happy
- They remove photos from social media
- They won’t pick up their stuff
- They’ve been taken over by “The Green Eyed Monster”
- They give off non-verbal signs
- They give you mixed messages
- Their friends contact you
Let’s now cover each of these in detail.
They Are Overly Happy
Everything they post on social media makes them look like they’re having the time of their life.
The best bar in town?! They’re there! With 100 friends!!
They also constantly update their status to show where they are, who they’re with and how much fun they’re having.
Just remember that social media isn’t a great representation of real life.
After a breakup no-one wants to post a photo of themselves where they don’t look their best or they’re not having an amazing time.
Removing Photos From Social Media
If your ex has deleted photos of you across their social accounts, don’t be alarmed. This is highly likely to have been nothing more than an emotional reaction to your breakup.
They might leave one or two photos of you/both of you on their profile (for example, where other people are tagged) but the rest? Gone!
Whilst it’s hurtful to see, try to remember that they are trying to make a big, emotionally-driven statement.
Perhaps they’re even trying to hurt you or get a reaction from you.
A range of emotions will be involved and it’s almost always done due to being hurt.
You will be confused that they’ve left one or two photos up (of something trivial) but it could be done purely to cause you confusion or to get you to react.
If you do contact them to question them about what they did/didn’t delete, they will get the reaction they were (most likely) hoping for.
Best thing you can do?
Let them have their moment and leave it at that.
It will show your ex that you won’t be drawn into any more drama.
This is far easier said than done but you will feel better for it (and chances are you will have your own copies of those photos.)
They Won’t Pick Up Their Stuff
You’ve asked them time and again when they’re able to come and collect their personal items but they keep messing you around.
No day or time is ever convenient for them and they’re only free when you’re not.
You make all the considerations you can but nope, they won’t budge.
If you can —by some miracle— get them to come over they might leave one or two things behind on purpose. You will probably only notice this once they’ve gone!
If this does happen, they may (knowingly or otherwise) be having a little trouble getting over you and the breakup and see leaving a token item behind as a way to come back again in the future.
They’ve Been Taken Over by “The Green Eyed Monster”
Jealously is never a good trait in anyone and now your ex has turned greener than the Incredible Hulk!
Apparently they don’t want to be with you anymore, but they still want to know who you’re seen with and what you’re doing.
- “Who’s that new guy out with your group?”
- “Why does she keep tagging you on social media?”
They also seem to check your live stories on IG but never like/comment on anything you post.
Essentially, “checking up on you” —minus actually talking to you— is a dead giveaway.
They Give You Non-Verbal Signs
If you bump into your ex you might notice subtle clues from them regarding their true feelings about you.
Picture the scene… you’re out at a bar for drinks and they happen to be there. You then feel eyes on you and yes, it’s your ex. You go up to the bar for more drinks and what do you know… there they are looking at you again! It’s as if they’re a moth and you’re a sexy flame (ahem.)
Well, that’s their business I guess…
As with some of the points above, you might feel really confused if your ex is being jealous one minute and staring at you in a bar the next.
In a nutshell, you’re getting mixed messages.
This is likely due to your ex being conflicted over how they feel about you.
Just because they were the one to break things off, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have stopped caring about you.
It may not feel like it at times but mixed messages can be a good thing. Hear me out!…
If they are showing positive signs of engaging with you and there’s no drama/conflict, then there is still hope there.
You might see the bad side of them (such as stubbornness) on a day when they were thinking about something bad that happened in the relationship.
On the other hand, if you catch them on a good day —and they get a subtle reminder of a previous good time— then you’re more likely to see their better side.
Their Friends Will Contact You
Chances are you met most of your ex’s friends whilst you were going out.
If, sometime after your breakup, you start to get messages/calls from one of these friends, it’s likely that your ex has asked them to see how you are.
This is their way of seeing how you’re coping without having to talk to you themselves.
You may even hear from their family.
If this does happen, be really careful not to go into great detail or give them too much information.
Even if you’re feeling really delicate and hurting, do not pour it all out. Try and stay calm, in control and keep the conversation brief.
You will feel far better about yourself if you keep your emotions in check.
Obviously, once that phone goes down, feel free to shout into a pillow!
What to Do If Your Ex Is Pretending They’re Over You?
If you suspect your ex never really wanted to break up with you, or they are now having doubts they made the right decision and miss you, then sure… look for all the signs they will come back that you can find.
But then what?
Because what you to do about these signs is another thing altogether.
For example, let’s say you are looking for these signs because you want to try and get back together.
Well, start by asking yourself this:
Why would your ex pretend to be over you?
What’s going on there?
Well, the main reason why anyone pretends to think or feel something other than what they really think or feel is to protect their pride.
After all, no one likes to admit they were wrong or has desires or needs which they claimed not to have previously…
And seeing how people go to extreme lengths to protect their pride?
You need to think about how you can uphold your ex’s pride while taking the steps toward reuniting again.
(This is partly what I teach my clients, and show in my Second Chance program.)