Effective Ways to Reconnect

May 2025  — 
 blog

Want to fix things with your ex? It's not as hard as you think. Here's how.

Wait

Don't rush. Give it time. Your ex needs space. You do too.

Why wait? Anger fades. Pain heals. Your ex will listen better later.

Do this: Don't contact your ex for a month. Heal. Think. Grow.

Pick the right way to talk

Choose wisely. A letter works for some. Others prefer texts.

Don't use social media. Keep it private.

Your choice matters. It shows your intent.

Do this: Think about your ex. How do they like to talk? Use that.

Be clear

Say what you mean. Be honest. Don't play games.

Example: “I messed up. I'm sorry. I want to fix it.”

Do this: Write down what you'll say. Show a friend. Make sure it's clear.

Listen

Talking isn't enough. Listen too. Let your ex speak. Don't interrupt.

Tip: Show you hear them. It helps.

Do this: Practice listening. Use this skill when you talk to your ex.

Accept their answer

Your ex might not want to talk. Or they might have moved on. That's okay.

Why? Accepting helps you move forward.

Do this: Prepare for any answer. Be ready to accept it.

Set limits

Don't bring up old fights. Don't blame. Start fresh.

Example: Say “I felt lonely” instead of “You ignored me.”

Do this: Decide what topics to avoid. Stick to it.

Remember: Be patient. Be clear. Be kind. It's not about winning. It's about understanding.

Good luck. You've got this.

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        By Michael Fulmer: Breakup expert with 14 years experience. Trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level 1 & 2). Thousands helped worldwide. Created Breakup Dojo — now 1,000+ members strong. My products sell. My advice works. Psychology obsessed. It shows in my work! 10,000+ read my “Ex-Communication” newsletter. Need breakup help? I’m your guy.